TheVicarageQuest

Meditation on Matthew 22

2009-10-22T21:15:00.001+08:00

God is continually calling his people to listen to him and receive the wonderfully free gift of His Grace. We see this in our OT lesson where God calls his people Israel to a new covenant, which is based on the earlier Davidic covenant of Grace. God calls us freely to be his people and yet we are prone to bow down to earthly gods. We bow to earthly gods that ultimately have a higher price on our bodies and souls, and the gods themselves end up being nothing more than ashes and dust. We view this gracious call of God in our Gospel lesson. Jesus is teaching the pharisees by parables. What is taught about the kingdom of God by this parable in Matthew?
First, there is only one king.
Second, we must be invited. No invitation no admittance.
Third, there are two possible responses to this gracious invitation. We see from our OT lesson and the Gospel these responses. Messengers are sent with the gracious invitation of God to come and be his guests; we are left to believe the invitation is true and trust the one sending it or we ignore the invitation and turn to our work and perhaps kill the messengers.
In our Gospel lesson Jesus uses a parable to illustrate what the kingdom of God will be like, or perhaps it is better to say, what the “Reign/Rule of God” will be like. The reason we should not think of a kingdom is because the “Kingdom of God” is not a location. When we speak of the Kingdom questions arise like, “where is it” or “what is it” and we are left with puzzled looks and poor answers. No, we are better-off talking of the Reign of God.
The Reign of God is more clearly understood as an active thing not a location. Who is reigning? God. When is he reigning? Now. And, that is the point of the Gospel of Matthew. The Reign of God proclaimed by the Prophets and Judges of the OT is now on earth in the man of Jesus. Jesus is God and He is reigning. This makes the “Reign of God” a divine action that is accomplished through the words and deeds of Jesus and wherever they are present. And so, in light of this fresh teaching on the “Reign of God” we can take a look at the parable concerning the Reign of God with refreshed vision.
We have two parts in this parable. The first section deals with a people who ignore the invitations of God. They received previous invitation from the king. The king has sent messengers to remind them of the king's gracious invitation. But, the people ignore the invitation and turn to their own work, some of them even kill the kings messengers for reminding them of their invite. On account of their ignorance to the invitation they are destroyed.
The first section of this parable leave me a bit breathless, but this parable gets even better. As if the first parabolic punch were not damaging enough to the Pharisees, Jesus goes on to tell the second part of the parable. The first group is destroyed, which means they are no longer under the Reign of the God. However, God is not happy with an empty hall, in other words, he wants people in and under his reign, but he is in no way going to get them by force. So he drafts a new invitation of grace. One sealed and signed by the body and blood of His Son. He sends out more messengers with the invitation on the tips of their tongue.
The messengers are sent out into the streets to spread the invitations and gather everyone they can into the wedding hall. This invitation is so well recieved that the hall is filled with guests. This is where we find ourselves today. We are thrust into the middle of the parable story. We too have been gathered under the Reign of a king, our God, by hearing the gracious invitation of God and trusting it to be true. We are marked by the blood and body of this new invitation of Grace. We are in the kingdom and under Reign/Rule of God. We have been gathered in by the ordained servants of God who are still spreading the invitations of God from their lips. So, being people under the reign of God, or as it is called nowadays being the Church, let us take a closer look at what this church in the parable is like.
What do we see in verse 10? Servants sending out the invitation, good and bad being gathered with the result being a full wedding hall. Seems simple enough, at least until we apply a negative question, which is: what do we not see in verse 10? I hope this is not too confusing a question. But, if the people in the wedding hall are the ones living in and under the Reign of God, otherwise called the church, then we can learn a great deal of what the church, as the consecrated people of God, does not look like. So, what do you not see? (Pause)
I will tell you what I do not see and perhaps that will help us. I do not see divisions among the people in the hall. I do not see groups forming and bickering over carpet or hymnals. There is no finger pointing back and forth. There is no one complaining, wagging their head saying, “this church blah-blah-blah.” Something else I do not see, the gathered people bragging or complaining about the servant that gathered them. No servant is too arrogant, quiet, long-winded or introverted. I do not see those who have been gathered taking the place of the ordained servants. Perhaps we should keep that in mind in our evangelism efforts as a church. These are just a few of the things I do not see. And, do you know why I do not see them? Because there is only one King and Lord and when he comes he will have no tolerance or patience with any other “kings” or “lords.” Because when we “wear our own clothes” in the hall or thumb our nose at the gracious invitation of the king, we are telling Him, we rule ourselves and your Grace is not needed. And, when we communicate to the king that even though we are in his hall that we will have nothing to do with him ruling us, we see clearly why the Kingdom of God or the Reign of God is much more than a location.
The missdressed man from our parable is in the wedding hall of the king. He is in the right location we might think. We might say today, “we are in the church” this is the right location, isn't it? However, when the king comes what is very clear is that even though this one man is in the right place he is certainly not of the right Kingdom. No, he has established his own reign and rule in his life. We learn that his kingship and God's kingship are not compatible. And we are crushed to find that our kingship is much the same as the man in our parable. If we want to rule ourselves we thumb our noses at the invitation of God. We ignore his Grace and turn to our own ruling ways. Now, if there is one thing we have all observed in the reigns of unrighteous kings, presidents, and magistrates of this world it is that when one ruler comes into power he does his best to eliminate all opposition and subdue his enemies. How much more, then, will a righteous God who is our King and Lord cast out those who consider themselves to be kings of what God has made for them?
Beloved, there is not time to spare. The King is coming. He is on his way and the time is short before he will return to inspect the guests who have been gathered. Do not worry about gathering more people in if you yourselves are not wearing what is proper. Leave the gathering to Pastor Gleason, to Pastor Fritsche, and all those ordained servants who go forth from God to the streets. Do not take it upon yourselves to fix whatever you see wrong within the wedding hall or the church, it is not your house and therefore not your problem. God will come and clean house in his time, and that is bittersweet at best. Bitter because there are those among us who are not garbed in the proper attire, which is the righteousness of God that comes by Grace through faith. Sweet because the King is coming.
Beloved let us draw near to the Lord with a true heart. Let us look to the king for our healing. It does not come from any of us. The healing we need is that of the King, our Lord Jesus. Pastors will not fix what ails the church. You and I, the rabble who has been gathered in, we will not fix the church. It is only the maker of the church, the one who rules over it, the Lord, only He will fix her. By the forgiveness that comes through the Grace of God in the blood of Jesus we will be healed and restored to being the church. It will not be great campaigns, new evangelism models, or new pastors, it will only be the Blood of the King himself that heals the Church. That is why the Lord came. He came to make us right with him. He came to gather. He came to Reign.
Beloved the time is short. The king is coming. Let us prepare for his arrival by examining our hearts and minds. As people who have been freed from the reign of the devil by the blood of Christ let us examine our hearts and be ruled by God as guests and beggars He has no need for other kings. Repent, and return to God, the invitations of Grace have not yet ceased, the doors are not yet closed. Amen.

What comes out of the heart?

2009-10-21T00:15:00.002+08:00

I have had a great deal of interaction with the heart of commercial America recently. Jesus in Matthew tells us that it is what comes out of the heart that corrupts, not what enters through it. Words are, truly, the first things that pour forth and spill our of the heart. Therefore, the words that I have been hearing lately from commercial America have been hurtful, grating, greedy words. What am I to expect? Consumerism is dying when the consumer becomes despised. The customer has become a competitor when he demands right service from a producer, that is what I am experiencing. I am trying to take from the bottom line. I am growing weary of this all take and no give relationship we have.

Excerpt from Stark

2009-10-12T22:55:00.002+08:00

I cam across this gem today in my prayers from Stark,

"Keep my heart to this one thing, that I fear thy name. Grant that this week I become more pious and godly, increasing in the knowledge and love of thee, and as I leave week after week behind me, so may my inward man grow, that when the last week of my life arrives, I may be assured of thy grace. Should this week prove a week of crosses, strengthen me by the Holy Spirit, that I may bear and overcome everything by thy powerful assistance. Be thyself my help, and my preserver from all trouble. Now I comment myself, body and soul, to thy fatherly protection, as all Christians should do."

Fabulous

St. Michael and all Angels

2009-09-26T19:50:00.002+08:00

I am excited about being able to read a Luther sermon tonight to the congregation. I was hit in the mouth by its potency. I hope people listen to the whole thing.

ON a different note; the October fest 5k Cassie and I have been preparing and training for is a week away. We are physically prepared as well as mentally prepared. WE are just in the process of trying to reduce our times for each mile.

Absolution and the Vicar

2009-09-18T02:29:00.001+08:00

Thanks again to Pastor Brown and Meador for their input and insight into this area of discussion as well as the rest of us for feeling comfortable enough to share our insights and thoughts throughout this discussion. As well as the blessed men who have guided me through prayer and meditation.

This section will be a review of the circumstance that has brought this reflection and discussion into fruition. If you have followed the discussion all along then you might want to skip down a paragraph if not and you would like to have a greater grasp on what is being discussed, please read on.

This week a child was brought to me, he was heavy with guilt on account of a trespass committed at home. We discussed it, I led him into the sanctuary and we knelt together at the altar. He had no words for his confession so I opened him to the confession that is printed in the LSB. He acknowledged that the confession he had read was his own and according to his confession I proclaimed the Grace of God to him. (That is the short of it) I halted though because I felt a desire to proclaim to the child, “I forgive you all your sin, in the stead and by the command of my Lord Jesus” but did not. I resisted because I believe that these words are given to the pastor according to the keys and authority given to him by the church. (Properly understanding the keys is critical and I thank Nathan, a classmate of mine from Concordia Austin, for the review in Lutheran Catechesis. So if anyone needs an explanation of “the office of the Keys” then look to the Small Catechism of Luther first, go to a local Lutheran Parish second, or call me if you have my number) So, I was unsettled because I wanted to remit him of his sin because I had compassion on him in his grief but was bound not to overstep the lines of authority which have been established for proper order of the church and for the care of souls. Now, back to the discussion…

I have read through all of the comments that have been posted and read through the confessions. I have talked to my Bishop, I have talked to Pastors who are around me daily who are wiser more learned men than I could hope to be in a lifetime and think that now I have a satisfactory presentation of “Absolution and the Vicar” which I hope challenges us in our thinking but more importantly our DOING. Here is my brief presentation (and it is important also to remember that as a vicar I am neither laity or Pastor, so my view will be different than that of a lay-man but I will try with all my might to make it so for the sake of the casual reader that might happen into the confines of this correspondence) thanks for all your patience and careful thought through all of this. I hope and pray this is for the mutual building up and education of us all, I know it has been for me, and perhaps a re-inforcer and refiner for others.

There are three realms that confession/absolution reign in and may be applied. These are not realms that you will find in a systematic or worship book, as far as I know and have read, but just three different areas of faith that the “sacrament” may be celebrated. I will begin with the one closest to the situation I have previously presented; between a penitent believer and a third party.

It is important to point out that the child in my story did not trespass against me, making me a third party in his story. I was the one asked to lead him in confession/absolution not being his father or mother. In this celebration of confession absolution I resolve that any lay-man not holding the authority of the Pastoral Office and the vicar alike absolve the sins of a third party in the form and fashion of that presented to us in Compline. In this confession and absolution the leader as well as the congregation confesses sin before Almighty God, the whole company of Heaven, and all gathered brothers and sisters of faith. Then the response is given in the third person asking that God forgive, remit, and pardon all sin. This is what Pastor J. Brown is talking about when he mentioned in his comment that I am left with a third person absolution. This is a declaration of Grace upon a penitent believer. This is where my tension stemmed forth on account of the literature I read.

I am being trained as a Pastor, like all vicars, and as a candidate we are being taught the necessity of a first person to second person dialogue in our speaking, Baptismal Speech, W. Willimon might put it and well as G. Forde. A speech that bears full authority to remit sins; as if it were God himself booking the declaration from heaven! That is why I think there was great tension. I am being trained to say words that I have not yet the authority to mutter. This might lead to a further discussion on the propriety of a third year vicarage. But, that is another topic altogether. Let us move onto what I label the second realm or celebration.

The second realm is what we see presented to us by Jesus in so many of his teachings concerning forgiveness; when a brother or a sister trespasses against me. In this celebration of confession/absolution there is nothing restraining me from using a first person to second person discourse in my absolution. If I am sinned against I will tell the trespasser, “I forgive you of all your sin by the command of Christ my Lord” or something to that effect. In this celebration there is nothing keeping a priest of the saintly priesthood from declaring full pardon. In-fact, we should hold fast to the command of Christ and forgive or else (Matt. 18:35). After this stern reminder from Christ let us move on to the third celebration of confession/absolution.

In the third celebration we see the richness of the Pastoral Office. Standing before a gathered crowd or a homebound soul the Pastor declares a first person to second person absolution in the stead of Christ and by his command. This absolution is authoritative to remit any sin committed. Not limited in only pardoning the sins committed to him in a first to second person setting or limited to grant only a third person absolution; the Pastor declares as if God were there in-front of the penitent, “I forgive You.” This is the Kerygmatic Public Ministry, if there is such a term. The declaration of First to Second person absolution which is bound by nothing because it is from God and not man, as my friend Shawn Barnett has pointed out so wonderfully. I should say make mention, the other celebrations of confession/absolution are also not bound for God in any way, and are powerful indeed, but as far as humanity we are bound by their form or the realm they are celebrated in.

A lay-man ought not to cross the lines of the Pastoral Office in celebrating absolution according to the third celebration I have mentioned above. In the same way, as we are being trained, a Pastor should not act as a lay-man in the pulpit. He ought to celebrate the full practice of this third celebration of absolution; using a first to second person correspondence between God and Man. “I forgive you all your sins!” This is the election of God and the full measure of his Grace which the church has authorized the Pastor to practice publicly, so let him practice it.

This brings into light the comment concerning the authorization of any person to hold the keys. I am not sure yet how to answer that and might take a few more days of looking, asking, praying, and reading to come up with a coherent response. Perhaps one of our other contributors might be able to sufficiently respond in less time.

If the question is, “could” the church authorize a man to perform absolution the answer is yes they could. Now, I think there are all kinds of other factors that come into play here. The question I have is, why does the church make use of its God given keys more often? Why don’t we gather sinners before the whole communion, confess, and then absolve as the body of Christ? I think Pastor Meador had an experience like this when he was visiting his current parish in Plymouth, WI. The communion gathered and forgave. That might also be a topic for another discussion/reflection.

I hope that you have endured through all of this. I hope that you have enjoyed it in some way. I pray that I have not been a stumbling block and that the devil and his evil angels keep away from these words and this discussion. Let us not be led astray and to divisions over words that we do not understand or agree. Let us, as brother, try to explain and teach simply, patiently, and calmly in love, so that the communion may be built up and the church protected. Pray that St. Michael and all the company of heaven be will us in battle against the evil one not taking his power for granted but reminding him of his defeat in Christ and lack of power over us. Let us practice and celebrate daily the richness of confession and absolution. As vicars let us pray to remain steadfast in our current vocations and not give into desire and temptation. As Pastors I pray that all you blessed men celebrate the Authority given to you by Christ through His Church to absolve by his Power and Might. As lay-men I pray that you/we would remain prayerful in our support of the Pastoral office not neglecting or becoming envious in anyway the position our Pastors have been granted.

I thank you my heavenly Father, through Jesus Christ your dear son, that you have kept me this night from all harm and danger, and that you would keep me this day from sin and every evil. That all my doings in life may please you. For into your hand I commend myself. My body and soul and all things. Let your holy angel be with me that the evil foe may have not power over me. Amen and Amen.

The Power of Private Confession and Absolution

2009-09-16T01:17:00.002+08:00

A theft from a mothers purse and the subsequent fear of punishment weighted upon the chest. I know of only one relief, confession and absolution. However, do I, as a vicar have the authority to absolve of sin? It was not a random disciple that Jesus lectured on forgiveness but Peter. Or, does what Jesus said to Peter expand to the whole body of forgiven restore people as Jesus taught in a parabolic way using an unmerciful servant as an example, with the warning do it? I am left wondering because today I was confronted with a child who was suffering from the shame and guilt of trespass. He had no words to confess to God so of course I led him by the words given to us through the Apostles. I absolved him as he believed, that the forgiveness was of God and not man. I am just wrestling, in my short-lived vicarage career, with several incompatibilities that we seem fine in glazing over, like Augustana XIV, within our vicarage experiences. So I am asking the question, is the authority to remit/retain sins a key that all believers are given on account of their righteousness or rather a specific aspect of the Public Ministry handed down by the Spirit through Apostolic Succession?

Mums and Morning Light

2009-09-15T01:47:00.003+08:00

Light rays originating beyond our space and time somehow made the mums pouring out from our porch much more vibrant this morning. As if they were singing a morning prayer to their creator they beamed and saluted the radiance from above. I was stopped by them and reminded to sing a morning prayer to my creator as well because I am far more radiant than these small buds.

Willimon Quote

2009-09-11T20:24:00.002+08:00

When reflecting on the baptismal rites of the ancient church Willimon looks to Hippolytus' observations and notes

"These rites of Baptism expected a decisive ending of the old life, transformation through the process of initiation, and the beginning of a new life. Through instruction, dramatic rite, exorcism, and careful, communal examination, these ancient congregations prepared candidates for the shock of ethical transformation brought about by freeing a person from the grip of the old pagan gods" W.W., Peculiar Speech, 60.

What I appreciate the most concerning this entry, and indeed the whole book, is that Willimon places the responsibility for Baptismal speech on the entire congregation, not only the pastor. I am attracted to this type of speaking because all too often I feel like congregations want pastors to BE the only Baptized member of the congregation.

Labor Day Break

2009-09-10T04:24:00.003+08:00

Long weekends do not have as much allure as they had months ago. I spent Sunday evening and the majority of Monday fishing for "slab" Crappie in my Father-in-Laws tank (or pond as it might be known in the Mid-West). I do not know the exact words to use to describe just how nice it is to be out on the water in a boat fishing. The ancient Greek understanding of the word "perfect" comes to mind. Not perfect as in "no fault" but perfect as in "doing exactly what a thing is supposed to do" that kind of perfect.

I felt like I was out there on that water doing exactly what I was supposed to do for that given time. I was focused in thought and determination. Poised and ready for the strike of whatever might have been swimming nearby. Anticipating he braggadocios clamor that might be had if I did find the place where the Crappie rest.

As you can tell I was successful in my venture and was able to employ my story telling technique. However, I am rather envious that such perfection still remains elusive in the area of Homiletical reflection and concentration. I disappoint myself by having such a high view of the preached Word and yet poorly execute the writing of a homily. The problem is not a lack of information or thought but a lack of perfection in the carrying out of the writing. I do not yet feel like I am doing what I ought when I am finished, and that is most distressing.

Check out the post below

2009-09-03T09:39:00.002+08:00

The ongoing manipulation and commodification of humanity by humanity. I do not know how to say it any better than that. I am not even going to use the ambiguous phrase "playing God" because we do not play big "G" god, but we believe we are gods incarnate. Of course, when one believes that we live in a closed universe and we are left to justify ourselves to one another, there is no alternative to believe that you are god to sustain your doings in life.

But, if you believe that Jesus is Lord. Then you are free from the bondage of slavery which is justifying self according to the elementary principles of this world. You have been adopted into a new world, the church, which forms you in the image of the apostles who were formed by Christ. If Jesus is Lord then abandon your Baal's and Asheroth and other gods and follow Him alone. If you do this then your days will be blessed and your life will be peaceful. The Lord is our strength and our song and he is our salvation and he lays waste to the enemies of His people and those who pervert His creation. Thy kingdom come.

First baby born from new egg-screening technique

2009-09-03T09:32:00.001+08:00

First baby born from new egg-screening technique

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The Simple Truth

2009-09-02T22:27:00.002+08:00

Telling the story of God's work in our lives, in simple language, is a gift. Thanks to Zion for letting me lead ZLC chapels sometimes. God's love is shown that he wants us to be with him so badly that he gave us his Son. We still see Jesus every Sunday we celebrate the Lord's Supper. Jesus is with us. He is saying you have nothing to fear, God loves you, you are right with God again.

Dogs at the Reservoir

2009-09-02T07:17:00.003+08:00

We have taken our pups to the Staunton reservoir the last few days for swim training and exercise. We have been having a great time plus the pups are wiped-out when they come home. I do not have any snapshots of them in the water yet but hope to soon. For the mean time however, I have a few little photos of our pooches.

2009-09-02T00:34:00.006+08:00

Homiletic reflection:
Being able to preach the Word, as Paul charged to Timothy, is never boring. I was reading through the L.C. (Large Catechism) this morning; focusing specifically on the third commandment and its meaning.

I came accross the sentences towards the explanations close, pg. 399 in the B.o.C. (Book of Concord) 96,97, where Luther goes onto to tell the reader who is in violation of the third commandment by making the day of rest and worship unholy. Not only is it the swine-like-drunkard, but it is also any man who comes to the Service of the Word as they would to any other entertainment, "who only from the force of habit go to hear the sermon and then leave again with as little knowledge at the end of the year as at the beginning." Luther might as well have said, "Let him who has ears, hear."

I am only reflecting on this more heavily today because in my first homlietical meditation and sermon to Zion, I hit on this point and warned the people not to fall into idle contrived practice in worship. "Do not come on account of tradition alone, thinking that by your entering through the doors, opening the hymnal, singing your hymns that you are holy and right with God" I think those were the words I used. And then, as if to breathe life and justice into the Word and the Holy Spirits work of hardening hearts or revealing Christ to destroy all that stands between us and the Almighty as well as what Luther has given us to read, mark, and learn, a parishioner comes up to me and says, "that was a longer sermon than we are used to, but it was pretty good, you had me at the beginning, then you lost me, then you had me again, then you lost me, but it was pretty good."

Blessed be the Father, Son, and Spirit, who have worked in the narrative of human time to reveal to us poor beggars the Word of Truth which is Eternal Life and Restoration for the Faithful.

Another Attempt

2009-09-02T00:25:00.002+08:00

I always have the worst time remembering and wanting to use this blog. I just do not like it for the most part. The main reason is I do not like being responded to. In the same way I do not like talking to myself I do not like writing for myself. And, considering journaling here as writing to God, which was a piece of advice once given to me in an attempt to encourage me to write more often, does not strike me in the least as motivating. However, there are still some people out there who cruise by here once in a while. I have heard that there are some connetions from my time in Asia who are passersby. For the sake of piety and the neighbor I will attempt, yet again, the challenge of bearing this Blog.

The Discussion of Child

2009-06-04T23:44:00.001+08:00

We have started discussing children and when we would like to start procreating. We have not conversed at length about children. What he have talked about is life after children mostly in regard to money. For some reason I think that is wrong, but with all the expense, housing, insurance, etc., I cannot help thinking it also necessary. I hope that we will turn toward God more, through my leadership, to find comfort and peace in Him.

2009-05-29T20:55:00.003+08:00

Here is the campsite that Cassie and I camped at for our Anniversary. We actually got to make our campsite just the way we wanted. The trip getting here was much more fun than the making of our campsite though. We traveled down the Mississippi River, at least alongside it, from Hannibal back to St. Louis. We had a relaxing fun ride looking at the homes in all the small towns we passed through ad dreaming of riding down the Mississippi River Trail sometime.

1st Anniversary

2009-05-28T06:21:00.002+08:00

The title of my last post in reflection on this one should be enough to tell anyone how much I have kept up with this blog. I am just not good at keeping a journal. Oh Well. One year has already passed. I am not sure how a year went by already? I can still remember the day we were married very vividly. I suppose it is because we are always going back to Arkansas and seeing the place we were married. Whatever the reason I enjoy the remaining freshness in my mind.

Wedding is moving forward

2008-01-28T23:54:00.001+08:00

I know it has been a while again. But Wedding stuff is moving forward. We are busy registering at stores and whatnot. I hope you all, the readers, are getting as ready as I am.

Picutres Coming

2007-10-24T22:01:00.000+08:00

Not only have I not been the most faithful in writing to you my dear blog, but I have also not shared any of my fabulous pictures with you either. I feel like there are so many things that I want to do that I can do nothing I need to do but by saying I need to do it and then not doing it am I confessing the that action as un-needed? No! I need to stay in touch with you my dear blog and let you know where and what and how everything is going in my life and also let you see it with your own eyes.
I need to let go of my more boyish ways of thinking that I can do whatever I want when I want to do it. Or, thinking that I can take advantage of all that is offered to me by pigeonholing my love and my studies. I am trying to sacrifice more of me to have more God and my love in my life. Pray for my my dear sweet blog.

The SemQuester

A month and Nothing?

2007-10-22T23:13:00.000+08:00

I started my last entry with something like, "I am really going to try and blah blah blobbedyblah."
Well that did not happen. SO I am going to try, for the next week, to enter a little something, nothing too long, after chapel and before I head back to class.
I am drinking coffee and talking with Cassie in the mornings which is the best part of my day other than seeing her before I have to sleep. I do not understand why for a while it was hard for me to treat her like the gift that she is to me. So say a prayer that I will love her with all urgency.
I am the SemQuester.

The Day and the Hour is Known

2007-09-04T09:05:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow morning is the official start date and time of my formation as a pastoral man. This past Sunday as the President of the Campus, Dale Meyer, impassionatly presented us with our introduction as first year students he also opened our senses as men to the work that will be needed by all to gain the formation Our Lord, and all the Saints hope for us. We have entered into doors, honored doors, of scholarly research and development. I am the third in the American lineage of my family to be formed and to serve, by the Will of God.
Tomorrow as I am sitting in the first class of my extensive Greek training classes I hope for the sake of all us students that prayers are raised up. Please?
On a different note I am getting into, again, great shape. I think I am going to try and have a regular Golf game that serves as my free, away from here time. My time to commune with God, Nature and my Putter.

I am here

2007-08-31T23:34:00.000+08:00

I am in the city of Clayton. I have recently taken the pictures that will be strewn around the Rocky Mountain, as well as other, districts in the Untied States and more excitedly I am a finalist in a drawing for a Harley Davidson Motorcycle in Colorado that I must be present to win. Se la Vie.
Over the next months weeks and years I will in the best of my ability sit down and try to connect any readers out there with the life I am going to live in here. There are sure to be darker moments as well as the lighter. Frustrations with Greek are surely a given, as well as my introspective look at the development of persons here in St. Louis that will at some time be the leaders of churches around the nation.
Nothing critical I assure you. I will not throw Professors or Colleagues under any Greyhounds. I would like to be honest and open with as little a filter as possible.

So far, there has really been little going on here at the campus. I am fulfilling all of the requirements that I am asked to effectuate and preparing for another round of informative orientation meetings. Library and Historical Society meetings abound as well afternoon sessions of basketball with newfound friends. So far, and hopefully into the future, all is well.

Restlessness

2007-06-26T13:35:00.000+08:00

Trying to figure out everything that needs to be done before coming back to America is driving me in circles. I look in my room. On my bed, checking my bag. Bathroom. Back room. Laundry room. Upstairs. Bathroom. Bag. Bed. Office. On and on again wracking my brain to find the lost trinket I need to bring home. I search the TV, Nothing. Channel after Channel. Hopeless circles once again. I am not doomed forever however.

3 more Days

2007-06-24T16:29:00.000+08:00

I am coming home in three days and there is really nothing that I want more than to be home right now. I am sitting on my couch, thinking about what to do? I know I am coming home and I know I will be home in 3 days, and I cant make myself think about what I need to do other than pack and come home.
My mind is not even clear and I have intense malaise. I am watching back to back to back Jurassic Park movies. I will eat dinner and wake, Eat dinner and wake, Eat dinner and be home. Coming Home

Reduction to 15

2007-06-12T15:06:00.000+08:00

I am standing on the edge of being a full time American citizen in America. I have been away for the best part of the last 2 years. I have been in Taiwan, and I am ready to be home. I am a young man away from home (and when I say home please do not think of me as saying my parents basement or even the place I was born. Think of it as the space of America, the ideals, the functions and disfunctions of the nation. The politics and insurance costs, the cars and planes, and taxes.) who is raedy to take the next steps in life.
I will be going back to school to achieve a masters, I will continue in a long term relationship with a beautiful woman of God, I will golf and fish and camp and study and live a life.
There are no great thoughts that will come from my brain nor will there ever be most likely. I have realized that I am not a man of great intelligence but of great conviction. I am a man of great wisdom for my age and action, determination, and unwaving love flows out of me as gifts from God. I am learning what I am. This is a pronunciation and nothing more. I am Sam.

Wroking with people whom do not want to work.

2007-05-24T18:40:00.000+08:00

If not the most frustrating activity on the planet it is certainly more annoying than trying to read War and Peace to a group of ESL students from Taiwan whom roll their L's into R's; ("Deck the Har's with bows of Horrrry! Fa Rah Rah Rah Rah, Rah Rah, Rah Rah!") as well as place a great deal of emphasis on not being the ones to instigate learning.
I work with students who live and are bred in a culture that demands the utmost of production and perfection with the least amount of learning I know. Taiwan, or Chinese Taipei, has becoming a breeding ground for moderate everything other than excess. I grow weary of the carbon flakes nestled in the sweaty folds of my red neck. Making their nest my dermis post a purging of the exhaust from an unfiltered, under-clutched diesel Nissan load hauler.
I grow tired of the way I am looked at as a commodity to be bought and paid for. I never realized what it would be like to be that Rib-Eye cut, suffocatted and itching to be free from the refridgerated Hades where the scorching eyes and spit glistening fangs of hungry admires wait for the Yes/No.
I do not like being in a place where the entire book of learning, not matter what the case is based solely on a teachers ability to get students to cram. Use Threats. Use Rewards. Up until 8 months ago, Use a Cane. I would like to be in a place where ideas and creativity are flowing. No matter the level of education or the level of knowledge, the ability to think clearly and lead to the development of, at the very least an opinion, is what I am longing to be around again. I have been sitting in my room and the library, and other places trying to insipre myself to learn Greek and Hebrew, brush up my Old and New testament knowledge. And I now realize that the reason for my lacks and failings is that I have not been able to because self learning is like the earth surface of Saturn.

The Mavs Fall

2007-05-04T21:59:00.000+08:00

I am half-way around the world and the news came to me in the middle of the day, instead of the end, that the Mavs had gone down at the hand of the Golden State. This series will go down as the greatest first round upset in the history of the NBA playoffs, for several reasons. Number one might be the collapse of Dirk, again I could say, shen it all came down to him. Next the absolute disgrace of a coach Nellie made Johnson out to be. Finally the way that Golden State becamse the Best West Coast Team this year, and perhaps for the next few with all the swirling comments about the departure of Kobe from the West Coast.
The most dissappointing of all of the headlines though is the stat line from Dirky in the last game of this season. 8 pts from the likely MVP in a whalloping. I think Dirk averaged 12 pts a game for the series, or something like that. Two years in a row this guy has collapse in one himself like that bridge in San Francisco. When the fire gets too hot around the boy he starts to show the stress marks left by the season, and it helps the fire out when the architect is the one stoking it and coaching it up. Man did Nellie ever make Cuban look like (Pause for muscial interlude...My Wiener has a first name, it's Oscar. My Wiener has a second name, it's Meyer).
The worst things that could happen because of this loss would be #1 the Cuban flips out and dismantles the team except for Donnie Nelson and the floor wipers, #2 the Warriors get it handed to them by Houston/Utah. I would hate it if Nellie could not get this team past either of those teams.

2007-04-30T12:36:00.000+08:00

So the NFL Draft has just concluded and there are two standout teams this year due to their picks and there will be two stand out teams next year when the draft concludes that I already know about.
This year the big winners were Oakland and Cleveland. Cleveland is an obvious winner because not only did they fill a spot on the line with the Big Guy Joe Thomas, but they gave hom someone to protect Brady Quinn. Just let me say that no matter how great Ted Ginn becomes down the road, if ever, he will never pay back dividends like Quinn. To the suprise of the NFL Ohio has become perhaps the most potent football state in the nation with the addition of Quinn to the Browns, it will take 2 years before we see anything from Brady, but that will be enough time for Carson Palmer to get back on the horse.
Next Oakland, not only did they release a cancer to the team in Moss, but they snagged a franchise running back in Michael Bush from the 2nd day. Now, Mike Bush is still recovering from a broken leg, but as McGahee showed us will and hard work can demolish and injury. Boo to Bush's agent for letting him fall so far, but horray for the Raiders for not letting him slip farther than he did. Even though the Raiders have, what should be, a bruising rushing attack with Rhodes and Jordan, this gives Bush a year to fully rehab and strengthen that leg before he is ready to be the new improved Larry Johnson. He is going to outshine JaMarcus Russel when they are working together. This could be an Aikman-Smith combo in 4 or 5 years.

Next Years winners already, New England and Dallas. Somehow these two Super Bowl contending teams will have 2 first round picks in the 2008 draft. Now even if there is not as much talent in the 2008 draft, NFL Managers are basing that a year seperated from when it is. Dallas will get Clevelands first round pick, and no matter what, Cleveland is going to suck in 07-08, the Cowboys are guaranteed a top 5 pick, and then the 24-30th pick, stacked. New England will add 2 more first rounders to top off their two first rounders from thie year, giving the newly equipped Pats even more defensive firepower which is a first round favorite for Belly and the Pats. In 10 years this draft will turn out a Marino and an Elway, an Emmit Smith, and a new Randy Moss.

Easter and Baptism

2007-04-09T15:40:00.000+08:00

There are two dates on the calendar during the church year here in Taiwan that mean more to me than any other days. Christmas and Easter. Many Christians that read or hear about those dates in congruence with importance would say, "That makes sense."
Here, there are two dates on the calendar during the church year that all of the converst to Christianity are baptized. I will give you two guesses...
Easter {the date} has just passed us. On Easter 4 persons were baptized which is one more person than all of last year was washed. Amazing to see the fruit the spirit provides for human eyes.
The English names of the baptized are Emily, Mikey, Grace, Jasmine.
Jasmine and Grace are students that have had contact with we foreign teachers for several years. They have been taught bible and had contact with all of us daily for the last two years if not more, and most likely more. Mikey has been coming to church and many of the church activities for several years and is a friend of many college aged students in the church already. He had struggled for a long time with the idea of being baptized and leaving his fmaily behind him. Emily is a new teacher at CMS and has been a teacher here as long as I have. Last year I had several conversations with her and many of the other young teachers here about God, Heaven, angels, etc. After a while I heard she was reading the bible with one of the very active and energetic Christian teachers from the school. Now, about one year later she is baptized. These ceratinly are amazing stories. Humans that are leaving what their families have known and practiced for what very well could be a good part of 5000 years. Pray for these new young lives in Christ. Pray that they will not be reverted back to a pagan belief. Or the internigling of the Gospel truth with the ancient practices of this culture.

Beloved Air Conditioning

2007-03-30T14:35:00.000+08:00

I may sound trite. But I love sitting on this leather couch when it is 95 outside in Temperature and Humidity level. Am I being lazy? Yes, but it is a sweet, dry, cool laziness that will lead to a nap, or, even better, video games.

My Arm the Snake

2007-03-27T10:36:00.000+08:00

I have woken myself up from sound sleep twice in the last two weeks the exact same way. I have been convinced that something was in bed with me that I though was a snake. I sleep on my right arm sometimes. Since I am a largish person when I do that, said appendage loses all blood circulatory action and passes out. When anything passes out it becomes dead weight, life-less and for the purposes of this entry, snake like.
Since I have been in Taiwan I have had run-ins with some of the more Venomous inhabitants, life the Speckled Cobra, Green Tree Viper, or Taiwanese Crate. Also I have noticed that whomever is responsible for hanging doors in this country, always leaves a gap large enough for any serpent to shimmy under. These two factors revolving around the fact the mice and vermin are commonplace sometimes leaves me a little wary of hanging my feet and arms over the edge of my bed.
So last night, I rolled over on top of my dead life-less snake like arm and sublimenally convinced myself that I was in bed with a humungus slithering bed pillow. After succefully Pommel Horsing my mattress and sticking the landing on my desk, I flipped on the light in search of the villian. After a few seconds I realized that the blood was re-sensatizing my right extremities. I put 2 and 2 together to get 5 and went back to sleep, but not before snapping a picture of the illusive beast. Enjoy.

Also...Here is my sweet Pencil box.

Work and Working

2007-03-22T17:21:00.000+08:00

Baseball season is around the corner and I would have never thought about watching baseball for fun before I came to Taiwan. I did not like the game at all when I was six and tried to play, I would say I had not yet developed the right appreciation for the skill set involved in playing. Well I still have no appreciation, not because I am against baseball players completely, I just use them for their fantasy stats, thats all.
So come on Jose Reyes and David Wright lead those Mets to the Series. It all comes down to the draft order in my book. If I thought I had a chance at Ryan Howard or Albert Pujols, I would talk about them, but I never get the 1,2,3,4 guys in a draft, so I am hoping on Wright and Reyes being early round sleepers, I like my chances. I am going with young talent, hopefully snagging a superstar here or there, I only need one, and there are more than 20 in the draft. But each year is different.

Hanging around on the corner

2007-03-20T13:27:00.000+08:00

I have a sweet new pencil box, I will put some pictures of it here later. The pencil box is something that has been serverly neglected in America by high school and college students. The Pencil box keeps pens and or pencils in one area with high levels of access depending on the amount of zippers on the container. If you do not have a pencil box, get one. They are certainly much more eye pleasing than a pocket protector.

Going Month to Month

2007-03-19T15:49:00.000+08:00

I figure I can write just about anythign on here now. Because of the negligence that I have had in dealing with this site anymore as far as updates go. Well some things that have changed in the last 2 months. I have started playing the guitar and am getting pretty good at it. I have injured my knee again, and then been healed by God. I really thought I was never going to be able to do anything again. But somehow, I was healed. I am still in love. I am going to, hopefully, be a full time student again next year. I will be living in St. Louis. I just bought a new Cleveland hi-Bore in hopes of cutting a few strokes from my game.
Peace.

Greatest Moment of 2007

2007-01-03T08:55:00.001+08:00

Falling in Love with a wonderful woman.

2006-11-07T13:37:00.000+08:00

I took this picture a while ago, and it has always made me smile because of the significance it bears in teaching what the tradition of Taiwan and much of East Asia is about. It is not the child with the phone, but the reflection of the grandfather hovering over the child. Even though I have been here for a short amount of time I know for sure that the ancestors of families live as reflections and ghosts over the homes of their relatives. This small child knows nothing of what is going to be asked of him later in his life when he has to spend gobs of money appeasing the upkeep of traditional ways. Honoring your parents in life is a regulation followed by several pagan and Christian sects, but Honor your parents so that they may be happy in the afterlife, I have a hard time justifying as mere tradition, but so tradition is passed of as religion? I know other large sects of spiritual thought that have been great at passing traditions upheld as concrete religious practice...
The grandfather in the background is counting on this young child, the first and only male child from his oldest sons marriage, to carry on the traditional practices long after he has passed away from walking on this earth. Already the hooks and chains, the rebar forms are being set, ready to be formed into a foundation for these pagan traditions. This first male child of a first male child has little to no chance in being converted when he is older unless there is a great shift in what Taiwanese consider to be their traditional values for life which in turn dictate the spiritualism of the country.

The Fall of Man

2006-11-02T11:07:00.000+08:00

Why did God put that tree in the Garden? I don't think, in my present culture, there is as big philosophical hangup for people searching for some spiritual meaning through the bible than that question. If God currently wants all people to Love Him and Love each other, why give them a chance to do exactly the opposite? A great question, which leads to another and another and another all which lead back to another question. A circle, which happens to be the "defense against the dark arts" here in Taiwan. The men specifically. Whenever I pose the question of God, there is inevitably the response, I have many serious questions, all leading to this question, Why put the Tree in the Garden?
I have a question, why is that such a hang-up in my ministry? I pray and pray that God will use me like he used the Apostles in the early church, to convict people and then through the grace of God, their hearts can be changed, but always the devil is shutting the doors of the hearts of these pagans. I guess he rightfully can, because the masses are secure in their sin and it has been hid from their eyes, plausible denyability.
God why are you waiting to shake the foundations satan has in the hearts of these people? There are faithful men and women in place. Use them.
The Answer to these questions I know, and that is not what frustrates me. What frustrates me is why I cannot be joyful in that answer, why does that answer frustrate me, that is why I am frustrated. Perhaps the rumors are true, this land is not ready for a harvest, they are doomed, for the mean time, to be consummed by thier greed and impartiality to Truth. The are infatuated with their fence balancing between the the poles of good and evil. Unwilling to make a concrete commitment to understanding the there is wring and right and not finding the balance between. How long will this last? I wish, for their sake, not a minute longer.

Sports Entry

2006-10-17T14:24:00.000+08:00

If there is one thing that has embarrassed me more than anything in the past it has been the Miami (FL) and Florida International fight that took place this weekend in College football. I have heard comment from both of the sides of the spectrum, One person saying, "Man I wanted to run down on the field and be a part of it!" And that got him fired from his position as a commentator. Another banning each team for playing for the following year of college football.
Why is it shameful to me, in Taiwan. Because it made it on the freaking news here in Taiwan. I am sitting at lunch adn there it is, a Brawl on a college football field with close-ups of 18-22 year old idiot boxes stomping each other, swinging helmets and body slamming each other. Now, if I had been in America, I would have wanted Sportcenter to aire a 30 minute loop of this thing so I could see it from all angles. But here, realizing the impact ignorance in our society has on my relationships here, I hate to see this and am shammed that NCAA sports has allowed athletics get this bad in some places.
Stupid clowns.

Another one of those movies...

2006-09-26T08:07:00.001+08:00

I admit, in 2002 when the first Jackass movie came out on the big screen, I was there. There was something extremely funny that made me actually want to watch men attach electrical devices to parts of their anatomy that should never have been exposed on film in the first place, let alone been zapped with a cattle prod. Several brain cells later, I am reading that now another movie has been filmed and is number one in the box office in America. Funny. I thought Johnny Knoxville got lost in the succes of whatever the heck that movie was with "The Rock."
I mean, when you play second bannana to a former WWF now WWE wrestling icon, how else better to follow up than marching your body into another self destructing feature film, Tyler Derden would be so proud.

On a different, but certainly not lighter note. My two new fish which I have named, Hannibal and Jefferey are running up a score of cannibalized aquarium mates. So far they have devoured 2 of my Blue Tetras and a few shrimp and snails. I now have them quarantined in a seperate smaller tank and feed them similarly to the Raptors from Jurassic Park, the first one. Other than being good looking fish, they are deadly, ask Mark, he is missing a little bit off of one finger.

A lapse on Spiritual somethingness

2006-09-18T22:00:00.000+08:00

Remembering what happens always leaves me thinking this, "How the crap did I let it get this far again?" I hate how often I go into a spiritual lapse, not connecting with my creator in a meaningful way, in a prayer closet, my personal time to be with God and a part of God. These are the times that God reveals to me exactly why I am hear plucking the hairs of my head and rubbing them away from my brow trying to exhaust all possible methods of reaching a lost pagan nation. I think to myself, how the hell am I supposed to do all of this, and then I remember again, I let myself get this way, everything that I am going through is because I have lapsed back to a place the my flesh wants me to be, a spiritual no where looking for a spiritual somethingness.
And now after a talked with soemone I love, I feel something, again.

The year is Begun

2006-09-14T08:23:00.000+08:00

However, is never a proper word to use when you are starting a paragraph. However, sometimes there is great efficacy in catching people off-guard. Roughly two weeks have passed since I have been in the classroom with "MY" darling AFL students. Before being wrangled into the hours of teaching and filling my evenings with the, "here and theres" that always seem to mount in a faster amount of time than my brains 512 meg processing unit can work.
Anyone who is a teacher never wants to hear these lines, "the bathroom has been remodled and is now your classroom." And I am glad I have never heard these words, but I have heard this, "Your books are not here yet." Take your pick, but after two weeks, I had expectations of being at least one chapter deep into two seperate reading and writing books, however that has not and will not happen for a few more weeks I am guessing.
Cooler weather and fish are the most recent changes in my life. Pictures will soon follow of both, and perhaps I can find a way to take a picture of my new camera...with my new camera.

Getting Back in the Groove

2006-08-15T09:24:00.000+08:00

After nearly a two month constitutional break from blogging, I am ready to jump back in the saddle. Lately things around Con-Ju-High, which is my non Chinese and actually more Japanese sounding affectionate name for Concordia Middle School, (being where I work). So now that I am back, updates all around.

Craziness insued, I woke up after 4 hours of sleep on a jet lagged body to teach three squeemish and frightened classes of newly arrived seventh graders. It was not an act at all for me to act gruff and testy, because I was, and having been that way for the entire first week of school has saved me the slightest grief in the rest of the classes for the August term.
But, with the relaxed level of outbursts to deal with there had to be, according to Dr. Malcom's chaos theory, something to interrupt the niceness that was taking place had to turn around a corner and address me with the tip of its hat. We moved offices, which at another time would not have been as shaking, but since there was a limited amount of time, and that was ontop of me and jettus laggus, I found it to be more stressful. The most stressful out of all of it was the lack of American presence and having to be responsible for moving everything out of the office, most importantly being the materials and files saved on the computers which were not to accompany us to our new office space.
What has been nice though is that, I have company, my girlfriend is here now. I have not written about her before here, and will not go into great detail. But she is an amazing woman, and, since being here, I am much more ready for the days that come.
So for this mid class entry, I shall say this is the end.

justgoing

Back

2006-08-08T10:02:00.000+08:00

After moving offices to another more central location on campus I am finally set for the upcoming year, I think? The view is much better, by far, and when there is better scenery one can almost be assured that the writing one produces will, in response, be better. More flowing, like nature.
Same Bat time, same Bat channel for most everything else. Not a great deal has changed since I have been gone, and I am guessing there is not too much that will change over the course of this year, I guess, but then again there are always those factors that play into a statement like that, factors being things like, rain, bills, God; stuff like that.
Home:
Being home was a much greater experience than I gave it credit for being pre arrival. Mountains, Golf, Fishing, Family, several different types of...fun ish things to occupy time and recharge. Now that I am back in the 100+ Humiditory percentile range of Taiwan, I miss the extreme coolness and dry nesses of CO. Something that I am strangely not missing is the food, portion and flavor. The food was great, great, great, but, too much and too salty. Man, no wonder we are the fatest culture on earth. Sodium and food overload, added with little excersie = fat people.
I will sip My Water and write, just to get by.

justgoing

I can count the days on one hand

2006-06-18T15:47:00.000+08:00

It is a really strange feeling to know that in a few days I am going to be getting on a plane in Taiwan and then be landing in America. Almost as strange as it was for me when I was standing and sitting and waiting to be on and off planes when coming to Taiwan. I am in the process of getting work finished, grades entered, books ordered, tickets confirmed, etc., and then the process of leaving even if it is for a short time. I am looking forward to a refreshed sense about me when I am in America and a renewed life of blogging but I must confess that I am not going to be on the internet for a while, and entering eve less frequently and most likely not at all again after this until I return to sit where I am sitting now.

For the eyes that watch, find something else to do for now, I can no longer entertain your lunch breaks.

justgoing

Fewer and fart-her between

2006-06-06T13:13:00.000+08:00

Interesting what happens when you seperate everyday words with a hyphen. Well as my time draws back here and I start preparing mentally and spiritually to be back in America I refrain from entering any information here. I do not have so much time anymore to sit here and spit out thoughtful or even extremely interesting posts, at least I feel like I do not have much time. My flight is confirmed and I am in the middle of finishing up tests that need to be written and small tasks that need to be taken care of.
The weather is getting warm, hot. You can no longer linger in a room with no moving air; there is a danger of suffocation because of the dense humidity smothering you like a blanket. Rain is falling regularly everyday, students are unfocussed and ready not to be in a classroom, so are the teachers. The grass and plants are growing tall and green, flowering.
Man I am ready to be home, but I am not ready for the hastle of a day of flying, changing planes, flying, changing planes, flying, ugh hgiafsihofo gosiho sodihf sdopgi ;oadh;gfaub; a;gubaeirugbpai.

justgoing

Here comes 70 something

2006-05-29T22:59:00.000+08:00

The main reason that I am entering is to give this site 70 entries. There is nothing more to say really. The news is starting to decrease out of me because there is less and less, or more to the point, more and more that is happening. BUT, everything that is happening, is happening because of my return to America, which is happening in about 1 month. I can say that I am very, very excitied about being home and seeing the people that I have not seen in many months. I am also looking forward to entering into discussion with people that ask me questions like, "What was the food like?" or "Can you drink the water there?" and a favorite, "How long were you in Thailand?"

For all of you out there that will feel the pain of a question as ignorant as that, please Holla at ya boy...

No? That did not work to well did it? Oh well...

Just going

Obligatory Sports Entry

2006-05-24T16:42:00.000+08:00

Well now that the Mavs have at least the "Best team in Texas" monkey off their back. The Mav's are finally in the finals of the Western conference finals and at that time there will be, perhaps, the two greatest scoring teams in the NBA this year, and perhaps for the last few years. What will happen in the Western Conference Finals? I am guessing a 6 game series, Mavs coming out in the end with the series. I am not guessing that there is going to be any Defense being played during this series, I would guess that for the series the PPG for each team is going to average around 105.
Even though I am not going to be able to see all of the games live, I will be able to see the re-run,
talk to you guys later.

justgoing

I still feel

2006-05-21T21:03:00.000+08:00

it is true that feelings are based upon what we experience in this life which, depending on your view, is all or nothing of what existance really is: or both. Even with all of that in mind. I still feel empty. But I do have a more solid idea of what I am lacking. It is not God who was far from me, it is I who am far from God, so far. I have been so unfaithful in my spiritual preperation for returning home that I have become completely empty. I need to get back to God's feet, and not even his feet, outside his throne room...nope, I need to get on my knees in prayer.
What I am also empty of is home, the smell, the sounds, the comfort, the people. I am empty of what it is. Of all these things I feel empty.

jsutiogng

I feel

2006-05-16T14:58:00.000+08:00

dry and crumbly, like a Sugar Cookie that has been baked a little too long and then finds itself in the hands of a toddler, but the toddler has his right hand grasping a sippy lidded cup and he is easily distracted and flailing his arms. Bit by bit the cookie is falling on the floor to be swept up later under the task minded mother that three years removed the toddler came forth. I need something inside of me to wake up. I feel empty, I feel empty.
Is it that God is far from me? I feel this is a true statement, I feel like God is far from me, and this might certainly be the truth. I feel tired and empty. I want to be filled up by the fullness of the Spirit, but now I feel empty. I want to be full of Him, but I am empty within. During these in-between times where can I find what I feel like I have lost? Reason says in another place, but logic would say what provided it once before. Is fullness still being provided but I am missing it? Perhaps all I need is some physical activity, or perhaps I need some time.

Home,

Just going

TIme after Time

2006-05-10T09:06:00.000+08:00

In the back of my mind I hear the annoying second hand of life ticking soflty but just loud enough to keep me awake for a few minutes at night. Roughly a month will go by ad I will get on a plane bound for America, then Denver, then DFW, then Pensacola, then Denver, then Taiwan. I am looking forward to the time home, but also already looking past it. Changes have happened in life and there are now factors that creep, like small burrowing beetles, between my skin and flesh causing me to scratch and pick at what feels sureal.
I am only 24, should I already understand the movements of life? Is that an understanding, or a gift, that a person acquires with age spent living in the current?
Ah crap, I cant keep this up. These abstract thought patterns drain me. That is probably why I yawn so often in the morning.

Just going...

Man I am starting to slip again

2006-05-05T15:50:00.000+08:00

There is no very good excuse as to why I have not been more faithful to writing. I have been busy with preparing my Senior 3 students for their college entrance exams that are coming up in the next 2 weeks for them. I cannot believe how much more national testing is stressed here than an actual GPA with testing. I think it is very interesting that students can phone in or absolutley flake ou ton classes as long as their test grades are at or above par. Almost like a college setting in high school.
I have been busy getting my affairs in order for my return to the states. I am in the middle of figuring out how much sleep I am going to get the first week I am home. And how I am going to get to see everyone I want to see. If I do not get to see you I am sorry. I will officially open up my parents home to any visitors that would like to come from far or near to stay a while.
I hope all of you are well and I will be sure to add something of substance here as soon as I figure out what kind of substance should be added. Well now that I am starting to think, perhaps I will add something a little more Rock'n'Roll.
If you have not yet heard of a small group named Audioslave I recommend that you find out who they are quickly. There is a song off of their newest album, "Out of Exile," which I cannot get out of my ear drums. When you add the Rock/Funk beat of Rage Against the Machine and the Vocals of Soundgarden together you get a Runky Garden that overgrows with tones of delicious raspiness and screeching guitar solos that make you ask, "How'd they do that?" A most fantastic change of pace from what is turning into a teeny bopper rock scene in the States. There are those great groups that are trying to bring Rock back from the brink, Velvet Revolver, The Darkness, Audioslave, these are just the names of a few bands holding it together. With a fist raised in the air, "Rock On!"

just going

let me tell you how much I love Badminton

2006-04-24T10:55:00.000+08:00

I am going to have to get a few more pictures of action, or groups playing this game sport. I wish I could stream some sort of live video of a competition through this blog site, but I do not have the savy to do such a thing.
Badminton has become a great hobby to take up during my time here. I have dropped weight due to the cardio work a more competitive game employs, and my new diet. The movement level is perfect for someone with thrice reconstructed knees. It is also a sprot that I think I can play for the remainder of my physically sporting life at least if I can find a person to play with. If you check out some of the links on this site you will be able to read up about the basic construst of the game, and any places you could find to take in some competitions.
I hope that when I am back in the states I can find a palce to get a game two or three times a week.

Peace,

almost done.

Just a little something to pass the time.

2006-04-19T16:46:00.000+08:00

What do you do with those few mintues that are sandwiched between one thing and another? But the time is so shart that you cannot do anythign significant like, run an errand or go to the store. There are a few minutes on the heels of one project and prior to another and there is really not enought time to relax, but there is just enought time to sit and think about what you have to do in the next few minutes. Man what a circle, there are millions of things that we could do in this time, surf the latest headlines on the web, chat with someone close, pray, write an uninteresting blog entry...
Time here is almost done, the last class will soon be over and I will be in a one on one session in preperation for a test coming this Saturday. Tomorrow will be the beginning of another slower day, one stinking class all day, which some people woul dbe jealous about but I would much rather be in a classroom that not. I think it is a great waste of time not to be in a place like a classroom.

The weeks coming up are going to be nuts, and the ripples are already starting to aggitate the coastline. Business and weariness are going to start to set in and the attention spans of my students are going to start to shorten to nothing at all. It is for the same reason as any students lack of attention, they see the end in sight. What end, it cannot be said for every one at this time, but for this place it is not the end of the year, not yet. But perhaps the end of the week, and another Saturday with no school, perhaps the beginning and then the end of another testing session, whatever it is, it is all near.
Peace to yall in whom His favor rests, assuredly.
These are some pictures from last weekend, which was Easter. There were three Baptisms this last weekend at Slavation Church. Praise God for three more being baptized into the family of God. That is always a highlight, to see the fruits of the work of the Holy Spirit and devoted missionaries and sisters and brothers. As you can see from all of the photographers that are in the shots here, Baptisms are a big deal, the house was packed out with people that were friends, family, and some of them were not believers yet. I hope that God gives me the chances to talk more with the two teachers that were there that are not yet believers in the God that will, if they turn to Him, give them the awesome Love he has.

Happy Easter to all of You

2006-04-16T08:40:00.000+08:00

Sweet Illumination is what we have today. My friends, in the darkness that comes over our emotions in Lent we remember what is the darkness in life. The darkness is an absense of Light, we all know the darkness, but now most certainly we know the Light. The Light has been revealed to us.
Stand in this light, be illuminated. Stand in the presence of Our Lord this morning, evening, and Glory in the presence of the King. Behold the sweet essence that comes from blood, clothe, and an empty tomb. An essence so beautiful and REAL that I may gaze upon His face in the morning and evening. Can it be made known all over the Earth the spring that He brings with Him into the lives of those that are His. A Spring so right to taste.

Jesus you were, you are, you always will be a perfect servant, give us a picture of your face and show us the magic, wonder, and spleandor of your Grace that you have poured out on us, and through all of these things you reveal who you are and who yor father in heaven truly are. Again I will say you are a perfect servant, so perfect a servant that you were perfect unto death. Reveal to us tenderness, and remove from us all sorts of selfishness that taint what you want us to be; perfect servants. Jesus you were, are, and always will be a perfect servant to us. Daily it is our task to do this, because of your Grace, to all of those that are yours on this Earth. Who truly is out of your reach and cannot be called your creation? If it is no one, then it is our charge knowing all that was, is, and will be revealed to us this day, the Day of Life, to take the message of all of these things into our lives and present them to the lives of all of those people that we are near.
Fulfill this Lord in the hands of those people that through your death you have called us to be servants of you, just like you are a servant to us. You call us to be your servants on this day ( should I say more greatly on this day than any other day?) in the perfection that you showered on us from that beautifuly hideous Cross. Jesus give us hearts to be servants. We are yours God, Lord, Savior.
It is by The Blood, the Blood of the Lamb. This Blood washes me and all of us. Listen to me as I talk of this Blood friends. It is only by this blood that Christ made the attonment for my soul and for yours and this is the way that it shall always be. How great is this Blood and that God simply did not leave our baptism of water. Shall I remind you about the perfect Servant that gave us this Blood? A perfect Servant to death on a cross so that he may face Death, and anounce to the world that there is no longer a need for Death. This thing that once had power in the life of all men was, is, and always will be beaten, and how? It is only by Blood, The Blood, that we are washed clean, and this is how it will always be. Again I remind you on this day to remember the pools that drip-dropped into existance under the hands of our Savior on the ground. The Skull quenched by the Blood of one man, a hill on which so many we taken to be slain in the same way, but not the same.
But no more talk of death here, for how can I continue to talk of death when there is life. What rules our life now, it is no death, but Life. Life Illuminated, Light given through death which all men fear when they have not stepped into Light and Life. For men death is darkness, for Christ death is the beginning of Life. We have been shown the measure of the Grace from this God that we worhip and glorify. What is the measurment? It is being revealed to us now and always, from the beginning of when time was counted to this very day, and verily I tell you the day that we are all standing before Him.

I shall speak again of this Perfect Servant. He is Risen, Indeed it is True. He has fulfilled all prophecy.

It has been a few days

2006-04-12T12:52:00.000+08:00

and there has been no real update from me to you guys about anything. I want to share one place with you that I have found, a literal biological oasis. A park, Chia Yi park to say it best, and in this park is what Taiwanese nature used to look like before it was used to the point of it now being Rice patties and Betle Nute Trees (betle nut is a slightly narcotic chewable nut that many working class men take up, like snuff or chewing tobacco in America only it stains your teeth and mouth a deep color red, and makes your teeth rot faster than any amount of sugar can).
There is not a great expance of these trees and woods because everything is enclosed within one city block, but the depth feels infinite and the compression the woods place on your voice as it leaves your throat knocks any sounds down within a few inches and leaves the tones laying on the ground at your feet.

When I said...

2006-04-04T14:48:00.000+08:00

When I said that the LC-MS was (Quote/Unquote) pulling out of Taiwan. I meant that the Volunteer Youth Ministry (VYM) program had its plug pulled, and it was not because a lack of workers. For anyone that is concerned with what I meant.

Love, an exposition

2006-03-31T12:35:00.000+08:00

In the short amount of time that I have to get this out of thought and onto a more tangible medium I will try at some kind of length issue a statement about love, and more to the point the love of Christ that he has given to me, making it my love, but not just to me but to all people even those that would reject said love and walk on it as if it were the mat infront of a swine bathers home.
Love, as it were, can be made into whatever one person is looking for. As a friend was so saying at another place and at another time. You can find what you are looking for when you want to find it and you can label it what you want. That is the beauty of the freedom of the mind and thought in most places that are still abiding in, or newly introduced to... Democracy? Would we call it the Democracy of the mind?
Love as it has been made in several cases is a cruel thing, we see it in relationships with abusive Husbands and Wives, Mothers and Fathers, Daughters and Brothers, extending to all realms of nuclear and extended family, and in fact transcending family to schools, offices, and other surroundings. Love has qualifications in itself, it (Love) can not be all encompassing and total, at least one kind of Love. Right? Lets take a look in brief.
Philios, a love of brotherhood, i.e. Philadelphia: the city of brotherly love. Is certainly not the same kind of love as Eros (love) as we will discuss in later parts. Philios is plutonic love that can exist between anyone, man and woman through age and nationality; Galactic Love. Most of us would share this love with a high school or University friend that you were of like mind and constitution with. You share stories and tales, nowadays you email regularaly or not regularly makes no difference. This type of love is evoked on warm summer afternoons around a BBQ or a pool, where a neighborhood can come together and take part in fun and activities. Enough examples? OK lets move on.

Then there is of course the ever growing in popularity Eros kind of love. This is of course the love that is only naturally shared between a man and a woman in the bonds of marriage, but throughout time Eros glides over to adulterous and homosexual relations. Eros is a physical love that is displayed in a relationship, this kind of love is not fulfilled on an intillectual ground like what Philios is, this kind of love is filled by the physical consumation of a relationship, Sex and sexual activity, no sense in dubbing anything down now.
Eros is prevalent now as a naturally fun and zesty part of any relationship, marital or non marital, but in fact it is only reserved by those that are bound by a love that is greater than Philios and Eros this love is of course Agape.

Now of course there will be someone to ask the question at some point after running across this entry. Can one have a long term loving relationship based soley on Eros or Philios, sure, why not. I am sure there have been a ton of relationships in our time and in times past and in fact many in future times that will be based on things other than the love I am getting ready to expound at brevity on. The next few paragraphs are slammed with the word sacrifice, sacrificed, and self sacrifice. Go into them with whatever mindset you want, like I said my friend said, you can find what you want where you want when you want and there is nothing this entry will do to stop that. But know this, without this third love, a relationship is an empty vessel, as much as is pains me to tell the truth so bluntly and anger I am sure someone. A marital relationship and, well...any other relationship that you want to expand past the afforementioned loves, needs Aqape.

Agape a third kind or love, and the end all, as it could be called, of love. What sets agape apart from any other kind of love? It is a self sacrificing love that is relentless in its sacrifice. Of course now we must further explire the realm and word, the actual defenition of sacrifice. Sacrifice I should say in this case is meant as a self sacrifice, a sacrifice of everythign that the present age has told us to value above anythign else, the Self. Self study, self help, Self has become the obsession f a generation and it has swept from Eurpoe to America and now to other reaches of the globe. Self sacrifice though, this is an idea that was ever so popular thousands of years ago, and it was not sacrifice to another human (something else I should say, in your mind are you viewing a bloody style of sarcrifice? Something out of the pages of a Cortez exploritory journal of the Aztec lands and customs sacrifice. Or more to the point a Roman turn of time sacrifice that was perfomed time in and time out after conquering a new land of the trial of a (so called) criminal?) but to a being that trancended understanding then and today, God. Most likely people who read this will not shutter at the mention of God and love and their hand and hand walk.
All love is divine, coming from God, but like many other perfect-at-one-point relationships man has corrupted love in his search of elightenment in the darkness.
Agape came later, after a long prologue fulfilled over the course of a short lifetime and shown to a world in the dark. Agape was given at the expense of life to show us the sacrifice necessary for life and love and the hopeless nature of man to fulfill this love that is the end all. Agape is a kind of love that even now is unexplainable in its entire nature and that yes is controling over the mind and body of those that are Enlightened, from light, to its truth. Agape which has a name, Christ.

Peace

uarg;iub;piubIUEWRNUN is all I can think

2006-03-26T23:11:00.000+08:00

How about this. The enlightenment of those that are slaves. Can this really happen? Slaves becoming elightened even though their every movement is controlled by the one they call Master. It does happen, in fact it is happening in me. What is the fear in man about control? Is there a fear, well of course their is. The fear of control has stemmed many revolts and reforms over the course of the recorded history of this world, but what is the stigma and negative conotation given to control all about? Number one reason. Man is the source of most all the control in recorded history. The reason for the negative conotation, because all man is sinful, yes even Christian man. Now what of the control of God?
Once there was a place and a time when all things were perfect (this also perhaps to some people is not historical and therefore doesnt apply to their self prescribed "truth" or life which is solely dependant on the realms of human reason and logic, but man in his history has never had more reason and logic than, well man). Nonethless since this is my entry and anyone is free to disagree (edit) they can. In this perfec ttime and place there was an absolute lack of suffering, a time when all people were draw to their magnificant, the God. In this time the slaves of God were absolutly obidient to God and controlled by Him and they were enlightened by Him. There was no fear of this control, because they needed not fear to stay controlled they were controlled by God, but without fear, without any reasoning they were controlled, unbelieveable this truly is. But the same it is, in some parallels for sure these days. We, humans, are controlled by two masters, one more than others in certain cases, and flip flopping. Sinful and Divine natures. This is what all human existance can be lumped into. If you like, the regenerate and unregenerate being, unborn and reborn.
If I am in an unregenerate state I am unconcisous to the things of this life that are divine because I know not what they are nor what they will bring. I am happy in my folly and non understanding of the light, and in fact think I am in the light but it is the light of my own mind and I rest in my undersatnding thinking it is the end all of what walks on earth. I am happy in my findings and curse those and think of them weakminded beings they are anyone who has to believe or have faith in something supernatural to, "cleanse" them. I can laugh heartily at those men and women that do not cling to their undersatnding but flock to the teaching of a "greater" being in their mind.
Regenerate beings are not controlled by this unregenerate mind, but instead are contolled by the spirit of God, and wrestle endlessly with the evil that is scorched into the flesh of all man, how can we be totally freed of what man is until the day we are dead and released of the flesh? Indeed it is not until death that the regenerate man has his final victory in life. Alas we are doomed to struggle with the evil that lurks in the shadows of our heart, this evil pushes us to do terrible things, but these things are forgiven by the master, wiped away. This leaves some men to say I will sin always and always be forgiven, but this is the thought of an unregenerate man. For the mind of a man controlled, and elightened by the spirit cannot stand the sight or deeds of evil but is constant tension with these actions and feelings.
These of course are not new thoughts and anyone that reads the bible everyday would know them. Infact even a person that has read the Bible few times is capable of drawing such conclusions from it. We are all just simple folks here though (edit) and we have few thoughts of anything higher than God, because there is nothing higher.

Slippity Slop Flip Flop

2006-03-22T09:58:00.000+08:00

I really cannot explain the title, but it is fun to say and who needs more. In the seriousness of study and mental preperation that these kids are going through all around me I am starting to realize why I never was a real nose in the books guy. Granted I was not the worst student and out of all the male DCE's that came out of my class I think that I was the only one that actually finished all of the course requirments in four years. I was always average in classes, never blowing the doors off the bell curve or the minds of professors when they read my responses on exams. But I was an A, B student and always had a lot of fun in whatever I did.
When I come here though and see the ways these kids study it makes me wonder what my grades and life would look like now had I put a tade more effort into my studies. I do not regret in the least the way I have done things, but I certainly will look at future education in a different way now that I have been here and observed what it (education) means in other countries. I plan on going to a university again sometime and getting a Masters, whether here or in America I do not know, but somewhere and sometime it is going to happen. When I go I will be sure to have a little more nose in the books and not too many feet on the basketball court, or arms in the weight room, or beers in the bar...

Now on the extremem other hand from my lack of nose booking in college I need to tell everyone that reads this to pray for me, for strength and encouragement and a clear mind for me, and for the Men and Women I am praying for pray that their hearts and minds will have the veil of Satans lie lifted or ripped away from in front of their eyes and lives. Every night I have committed to go to the LDS ward that is right down the street and pray my guts out for all of the people that are in there. SO many of them are young Taiwanese mena dn women that are lured in by free English and then indoctrinated with the "gospel" from my LDS friends. Ladies and Gentleman for as much as I see God, THE GOD, at work in this place there is 50 times as much work being done by Lucifer the Angel of the Morning. He has captured the entire mind of this island locked it away in a small box made of iron, clasped a great lock to seal it tight, and just as it is beginning to rust to the point of being able to sneak a peak inside, he fills the gap with ehse men and women here to spread a different lie.
With the LC-MS firmly establishing that they are pulling their efforts out of Taiwan for the time being, because even though we are supposed to be Ablaze in telling people about the Christ, it is apparent they want numbers in the church and not just to tell the word, at least in my humble opinion. Should I rant? I must not.
What is happening every night when I walk up to the frint steps of that building. Sometimes there will be people standing in the hallway that I can look down from one end to the other like a spotting scope on the deck of a great sea faring English ship of war Captained by Jack Aubrey.
I get there and say a preperatory prayer before I really pray, that my mind will be clear and free from the temptations and traps of the devil. Then I launch into my petitions for the changing of the hearts and minds of all people that are gathered under the roof. I need help from you, say these prayers for them.

Another weekend gone...

2006-03-19T18:05:00.000+08:00

Opening up these blogs is always a tricky thing. Shoudl I try to be cute and clever, mysterious and wordy? Oh crap who cares, it was another weekend like many in the past, filled with this and that and a bunch inbetween it all. This however is the last weekend that Matt and Dee Dee Wasmund will be two people in their home. That is right, God is Faithful and Just and He has answered the prayers of His faithful people Matt and Dee Dee and blessed them with a baby that they are bringing into their home within the week. This is such good news that our handsome pastor at Salvation Lutheran Church could not stop smiling. And for some reason as I am trying to upload these pictures it is not happening so I will have to go in a little later and bring his smiling handsomness to this site, and therefore a mouse click away.(It seems as through the night the good people working hard for free have fixed whatever problem it was, so here is that smiling handsomness).
A game of Ultimate Frisbee is just what the doctor ordered for this afternoon. As the days are getting longer, warmer and more humid it is getting to be the time when I want to be outside until the sun is starting to go down, and now I have the terrific option of having a beer or two when I am done and sitting watching the sun fall below the horizon.
This week coming up is going to be a week of studying and exams for the students at CMS. Monthly tests are upon us and that means that we are already 1/3 of the way through the second freaking semester. How does that happen so quickly? I do not feel like we have gone through anything in my classes, and with my Senior 3 kids sleep walking into and out of my class because of their all night preperations for their University entrance exams that are coming up in another 2 months, I feel like even less is being accomplished. Even though I feel like nothing is getting done I am having more meaningful conversation with my students in these classes. I seem to be a great time for them to release from the mono rhytmic echos of the teachers voice from behind the podium. Many times when I walk by their classes meads are down, drool on desk, phone in hand, ipod in ear. In my class where sleepers get wet willys and ipods are confiscated, there is a lot more attention placed on where Sam is moving too and what is he going to ask us to do. We talk and play a few games, we dance sometimes, and do those ridiculous Su Doku whatever they are, I am not smart enough for them anyway.
When this site begin cooperating I will get moer comentary on the weekend, and I am sure the week to come. I will also spend a little more time talking about the Bible verses that I am reading ever day. Perhaps we can have some mutual insight and reflection or something, who knows.
Peace. just going and going just to the brink, falling...

On my mind

2006-03-16T09:36:00.000+08:00

I have been thinking a bunch about this time of year in the church calendar. Lent, the season in the church that has historically been set aside for those faithful to walk with their Lord in the desert and feel the temptation and sin that pulls their living flesh from their bones. I am finding it more difficult this year however to get into the "mood" of Lent this year. Seeing as how we are called by tradition to observe this Lententide atmosphere there are a great deal of questions that arise in my head.
Number one, not negating the Law of course, but how am I to focus on my sinful self especially now more than any other time when I already do that more than any person should. My minds eye is not ever satisfied with anythign that I have done becasue there is always a taint of the BLACK that haunts my body. We are supposed to examine our footsteps, trace our sinful path, I have a road map that I add to each second of my life, it is long and detailed and I spend too much time mulling over it as it is, so why now? Why Lent? Is it because there are so many other people taht are blessed the other 325 days in the year. They can go this distance without thinking of their sinful path? I certainly think not. There are always those small occurences, or large ones, that are called out in the mind and spirit of all faithful and God presses their soul toward repentance. Ok, enough on that.
Next, what about the bloody cross, huh? Are we just supposed to forget about that thing? The saturated fibers of cedar, or oak, (whatever that cross was made from) amde full with His blood. Am I supposed to shut the door on that great sacrifice during this time? I would say certainly not, because if I did then I would be losing the reason for trying myself in the desert WITH my Lord. I would deny the fact altogehter that HE is MY Lord.
(Sam has just run himself into a circle of undersatnding and like a Buddhist he is going to try to become enlightened and throw himself off the ring.) We can call that inner commentary.
Shall I sacrifice, what has been so great for many faithful for so long, in my life because I am too focused on the cross at this present time to be led into the desert of my God, which in fact I live in many days pre and post Lententide? I know that this time is certainly a time of struggle leading to a sweet victory that is awaiting, but that victory has already been won, the sweetness like honey is already on our lips, but now we are to stay the sweet taste for the taste of gall. If you taste gall more than honey, how much sweeter will that honey bee...when you are tasting it while remembering He who was "lifted up" for you after those forty days of gall.

Good weekend

2006-03-13T10:43:00.000+08:00

It is the beginning to another week and the tail of the weekend, and what a weekend it was. Saturday morning I got up after trying to force myself to stay in bed for a few minutes longer than what my body wanted too. I went out and wlaked around a little, got some grubbage, and then headed over to the home of my chinese teacher, Yule is his name, and we headed out to help the pastor at the local English worshiping church move from one home to another. I was indeed happy to help in a more physical way, BUT it was a scary occurence to see just how freaking skinny and non muscularly massive I am these days.
I spent a great deal of time trying to get order of what was supposed to happen, and then, by the time I figured most of it out, we were finished and eating our lunch in preperation to return home. Most certainly not the longest day of helping someone move I have ever had, (Mike and Naomi from Austin) but it was fun none-the-less. I got to meet some of the other missionaries in the area that are working in the area and listen to a few of their opinions and suggestions for ministry in the area. End to the Saturday segment.
Sunday was a great day, number one because of the warmth of the day in the morning and then the change to chilliy weather towards the end of the day. We had missionary worship at Concordia Middle School which was minus the usual crowd, at least from the ordained clergy segment of missionaries in this country. I was asked to put the service together with the help of many other peoples and then share the message with everyone gathered. I was of course honored and nervous to see how it would all play out and what I was going to share.
It went off without too much of a hitch and a few tears, but for the rest of the day and evening I was on a spiritual high that has carried over to this morning. I hope that all of you are doing well and I will have a few more clear thoughts about the weekend and different things that happened. For now enjoy the pics that I will put up here.

On the verge

2006-03-08T08:12:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was perhaps one of the most trying and long days I have had in a while. I love the mornings on my Tuesdays. I get to wake up early and get to school and start the day with an independent study session with two students who sought me out to help them with their writing skills. I would like to think that my writing skills are better than my conversation skills, even though I am not really trained in any way to be a writing teacher (which I would love to change) but I do like to help students here expand their vocabulary and creativity in writing. Joanne and Lucy came and went and then so did my time for relaxation or breathing for that matter. Three more classes after my one hour session early in the morning. By the time I had a chance to say hello to another non Taiwanese I was 4 classes down and 2 more to go.
As I said earlier I love my mornings here at the school. The reason; I get to glide into the mornings now instead of rolling into them. There is something about that 15 minutes prior to walking through the doors of this office that I now sit in, and rolling out of bed 15 minutes before I am needed in class. What is it about time that you have to get mentally ready for a day of mental exhaustion, wait a second...
Then the afternoon comes on Tuesday, which is not the most unpleasant thing everyday of the week, but today there was somethign in the lunch that made the students nuts-O. My seventh period class was a failure for trying to teach anythign new, which is what I really needed to do, but in respect to the title of the class we achieved the goal, we had tons and tons of English conversation. We talked about, well anything that got brought up, sang some songs, learned a little Taiwanese, and talked a little about what will happen to them next year. All in all not a total failure but surely a test in patience seeing as how I was a tired puppy and nothing was going to plan, at least my plan, for the period.
Then to have another class that is split between students that take my class seriously and others that do not, and yesterday the minority of the serious and studious struck a crippling blow into the heart of the lax attentive. Electing Grace, a meek girl, to be the official president of the class and striking a little fear with her address that mentioned she wanted her classmates to be more serious about their studying. So during thr course of the class I had 6 students try to slip "ass" by me in a presentation, adn then they tried to slip through punishment by saying they did not understand it was a bad word which I knew was a lie because of the reaction of the class and the group when the word was said. So 30 sentences for each student standing outside the class for the remainder of our time together was the punishment, and a declaration of, "now you know it is not a word to use." Spilt feelings each students had, some pissed, others actually a what seemed a little delighted they were caught, like they had been waiting to see if I had a backbone of discipline. The day ended with 6 students peering in from the outside, 2 others in the teachers lounge nose to nose for sleeping in class without anything in their possesion, nothing just in class sleeping.
To cap off the day, a round of Basketball that turned into something unlike basketball. A vitories fist pump for a kid that will remember that game for his whole life, which is something I love to see, a bible study and extreme prayer time for myself for personal strength, and another 15 minutes to glide.

2006-03-04T17:02:00.000+08:00

The other day I snapped this picture as I was walking through our campus. This shot should wait for about another month, but seeing as how I have a new photo manipulator and was playing around with it I thought I would share it. Again another picture that is very striking for me. For some reason I do not like set pictures where someone is telling you, "hold your hands here, chin up, chin down, turn left or right." I would much rather prefer having somone snap a picture in a candid moment.
That is why I like what I am calling my "street series" of photos that are soon going to be making there way on here. A preface to the series is here now. Today I decided that instead of being chilly inside our apartment, because we have a rather cool place, literally it is always below 70 in here. I drove to a very active part of the city and then just started letting loose. I did not go around looking like a tourist, at least not like what Hollywood displayed for a while. Because my camera is small and my paw is rather big it works well for me to have that thing, the camera, at waist level (which someone will joke is at eye level with all other Taiwanese). Around this area I went, click, and capture all the time. In all about 140 pictures in less than an hour, and this I do not feel is the cream of the crop but it sure is a nice way to start.
What do you see when you look at this picture? If you could describe this in one word what would it be? How has this picture been a part of your day because of that word?

A piece I will call, "Mans walk on this Earth."

2006-03-04T11:13:00.000+08:00

There is something that has been eating at me, now maybe not as much as I lead on but still nibbling. I am here in Taiwan, most of you should be aware of this by now, and I get to see much of this Island and how it interacts with itself, the Human to Nature aspect that is. Recently I was in a conversation which brought this observation to the table, "This is a used place." Rightly said. What a used place I walk on everyday. There is almost nothing on this Island anymore that can be claim as Natural beauty. The hillsides have been litered with Beetle Nut trees because they grow quickly and spread all over. Once off a reserve they take over hillsides. Every dit of land is used for soem sort of money making scheme in this country except in a few areas that are too unreachable or just plain un-usable. This is of course not a Green Peace cryout, just another observation I have while I minister here. Am I only a minister to people?

Someone is watching

2006-03-02T14:41:00.000+08:00

Here is an image that tell me what I need to be doing at this time. I am turned around, looking at the path I have walked, seeing what has happened and repenting and being contrite for that which has been done in Sin, which is everything. As you walk, remember what you have done to get to this point and do not forget to fall on your knees.
Contemplate your path, see where you have walked and fall on your knees. You cannot look to the top of the mountain at this time, you cannot see the top. What is waiting for you is hidden behind a vail, you are blind, you are unworthy to see what lays ready for you.

Somber mood of Lent

2006-03-02T13:38:00.000+08:00

If you could love me as a wife,
and for our wedding gift, your life.
Should that be all I'd ever need,
or is there more I'm looking for?

And should I read between the lines,
and look for blessings in disguse.
To make me handsome, rich, and wise.
Is that really what you want?

I am a whore I do confess,
But I put you on just like a wedding dress
and run down the isle, run down the isle.
I'm a prodigal with no way home
but I put you one like a ring of gold
and I run on down the isle to you.

So could you love this bastard child?
Though I don't trust you to provide.
With one hand in a pot of gold,
and with the other in your side.

I am so easily satisfied,
by the call of lovers so less wild,.
That I would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood.

Because money cannot buy
a husband's jealous eye.
When you have knowingly decieved his wife.

(Derek Webb, Wedding Dress)

There is a perfect feeling to these words. As we proceed forth to the coming Crucifixtion of Christ we must first stop and realize Sin. In my time here I have become more intune with my sinful side and how to combat that which I hate. This is the time that I break apart what I thought was a righteous life, I delve into the Law and curse the sinful flesh that I choose to follow more than the Spirit of Adoption and Righteousness.
I hope in this time you feel the impending suffering that you put Christ through because of your sin. I hope you dwell on the Anguish he felt, the Crushing Weight that Broke all the bones of His body. I hope you meditate on the beads of blood that fell from the Puncture wounds Torn into His brow with unrelentless pressure. Breathe in a deep breathe as the weight of your cross is raised onto your shoulder and dropped with bone shaking force, and you realize it is outside of your strength to carry such a load, and find yourself on your knees, now and for the next 39 days.

That quote was a little much...but amusing

2006-02-28T23:06:00.000+08:00

Lately I have been wrestling with an aspect of this blog. I know that there are those of you out there that ask the question, "does he do anything besides take balck and whites, and move into apartments?" I know that I am here, and that one of the charges of missionaries is to report to those in places called home, and encourage the believers in these homes that their God is not failing to make believers all over the world. Some people need constant affirmation and attention on their faith, so that they are encouraged to move forward in their missions whatever they may be, here or there, home or away, next door or other countries. This is for you, my encouraging post, at least I hope as much. So here are some pictures for you, these are the students that I am with every day, around and talking to about the love that Jesus has for them, and the lack of anything they can do to change that. These are pictures of the mountaintops that I climb to have one conversation with a man in the streets of a city gripped by the practices of pagan society. This is Gods mission through me, not sent out by man, but by the Spirit that has laid waste my flesh. The Spirit that has led me here, to a place of growing unconsiousness of self. Peace to all of you under the vail of the StarMaker and Planet Spinner we call Christ.

"There are bits of Jack Bauer streaming through my package..."

2006-02-28T17:59:00.000+08:00

these immortal words were just muttered by my roomate Mike. We are sitting here around our apartment, Mike is dowloading the next episode of one of his favorite series, 24. He started to think about the physics behind the wireless internet we have here in the Apt., and that we, as a civilization, do not fully know the implications of wireless internet on the human body. Oh sure we think it is harmless until bits and pieces of our anatomy start shrinking into nothingness, now this might not be too much of a worry for Mike, but for some of us there is more worry involved. Here is a picture that I took recently, try and tell me what you think it is.

Pace

2006-02-27T13:08:00.000+08:00

This is a picture I took when on our trip up the mountain. At the top of the mountain there is a large sprawling teas field, and in the midst and mistiness of the top of the mountain there is a eatery. You can order any number of mountain top grown vegetables cooked by a small group of people that own the tea field. I have always been the fan of taking life slowly, I have not been one to like faced paced society constructs. This picture caputres what it was like to be on this mountain on a Saturday. Again another photo that I am going to have to get framed I think. Striking.

Today we (being a collection of American teachers) will being what many hope can become a regular day of Basketballing with the kids at Concordia. Pray we can make it happen.

Hey New Look...

2006-02-26T14:29:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I wanted to spruce this place up a little and also add some links to sites I think are noteworthy, the list will increase with time. The theme of newness also spills over into my life with the apartment we have now. In this post you will get to see some pictures of the place I am now living, first the inside of my apartment, and then in a later post the actual location from the outside, the building itself and perhaps a view from the top.
We came to have this place through the man (Yule) who teaches me and several others in his home monday nights. he recieved this complex at a minimal cost from the government because of his years of service in the Taiwanese Air Force.
So Yule has this place, as well as three other homes, one of which he lives in, one of which he uses as guest quarters, and another for rent, and now another home, the one I am currently writing you from within. It is great. Cheap from the standpoint of an American, but many Taiwanese think it is a little expensive, all in all I think I will pay almost $200 for rent, and utilities in one month. Cheap, Cheap, Cheap and the place is big, 4 bedrooms, 2 bath, a large balcony, very quiet, in the downtown area of the city, what more can you ask for? I am accumulating plants for some of the window bays, getting to know the location more and more everyday.

Great Schedule

2006-02-23T08:45:00.000+08:00

At the beginning of this new semester we recieved our schedules for class just like any other time, I guess I have only experienced the time before this, but I am making an educated guess. So I got into whatever kind of groove you can be in after almost a week, and then find out that the school has shifted my classes around a little bit, not too badly. I have a Monday-Friday Schedule that is like this for classes, 4, 5, 5, 1, 3 now I agree this is like I am teaching in a university. There is something I at least need to share as a blessing, Monday-Wednesday is a perfect schedule because on these nights there is really nothing too great going on during the evening, at least outreach wise. On Thursday and Friday though, there are two huge opportunities that we have to share what we are to people that dont know and have never heard, and what are the two days that I get a little break from really pounding the books hard so that I can have a little more energy in the later hours of the day.

Now something I have wanted to do for a while, a comparison of Sam in America and in Taiwan, not on maturity or cognitive thinking, but apperance, this is a chance for you to see what Rice and Tofu has done to my body. Here are some pictures and I hope they are side by side, but chances are that they will not be. I look like a goofy little rat in the picture where I am in my New York shirt. Albeit this was after a day hiking through the Royal palace in Thailand, i still have no neck to speak of. Never mind the women in the pictures, this should be common place for all of you that have ever looked at my pictures, being surrounded by beautiful women is a habit for me.
In my best estimation, from converting pounds to kilos, I am down about 15-18 lbs from America, all with regular excersise and a change in diet, which I guess could do it for everyone without a thyroid gland problem. An interchange of Badminton and Basketball, with a diet heavy in fresh fruit, fresh veggies, rice, and limited intake of meat and dairy products, and all the food is not laden with salts and preservatives, enhancers and color agents. My favorite restaurant buys their veggies from a vendor that comes from his farm and drops off all the vegetables with earth still wet from the morning picking clinging to the roots.
And now for another picture of my life pre Taiwan...guess some things havent changed.

Man, the Righteous Brothers know what theya re singing about

2006-02-18T09:12:00.000+08:00

After getting over whatever it was I had, I had a great need to listen to music that would lift the spirits of a man a shade slower than The Word. And I got it. Percy Sledge, Aretha, Roy Orbison, the Temptations, Dylan, James Brown, and yes the Righteous Brothers. Are you kidding me? Where the heck has music like this gone? With the 50 cents, Evanesence, Avril, what the crap? I want to hear music that is making me a better man, and if there aint nothing like James Brown and the Funk of "Get up off the Thing" "Good God yall!"
The absence of this music is a directly related to the upswing of violent tendancies in the U.S., perhaps that is not as scientific as I would like to think, but it sounds good to me. Where would the world be with a little more Temptations on mainstream radio and media coverage? Lets talk about a little more love, lets get down a little more.
Here is a perscription recomended to you by me, if you do not feel better (even if you are already in a good mood) after listening Martha Reeves and the Vandellas "Rescus Me" you dont know what good music is, if you are a guy and do not feel better about yourself after hearing "Soul Man" you need to get some help. I have to speak my peace on this, even if no one is listening. Get on it Music makers, get back to the roots, get back to the good stuff, I am speaking out, it is starting here, or something like that.

"Poison, Eggs are poison!"

2006-02-17T08:47:00.000+08:00

That is of course a quote from a wierd creature in the concluding segments of a sequel to the Wizard of Oz, I believe the movie was called The Emerald City.

It has meaning to me because today is my first recovered day from a bout with food poisoning as I have diagnosed it. I was worried that I had got ahold of some tropical type flu bug or something, but seeing as how the turnover of the symptoms has come and gone so quickly and the severity of the symptoms while they were with me, it can only be "Poison."
I guess I should be thankful that yesterday was the hardest day of my time so far in Taiwan.

Today I am back in the saddle and getting ready to get into the classroom. It is already Friday which is awesome, this semester is going to go by very quickly I am being told, it is shorter than the first semester and there are several activities and exams at different times which will break up teaching quite nicely. Roll with the punches will be the term to use, I will see how many unexpected turns and twists this semester holds for me. So far I have had one thrown at me. I learned that this week, only a few days after our 3 week break had finished, that my Sr. 2 students get to take another 3 day holiday to mark their, well I do not really know the reason behind it at all, but they are gone, and I found out 18 hours before they were to leave after preparing to teach them for the week, Oh Well.

Peace to all of you that are out there living a life in the Light, bring others into the Light with you, with the help of God.

Picture one is the new view I have from my room out into the world.
This is me infront of the worlds tallest building, Taipei 101
This is the home for the most sacred Budha figurine in the Kingom of Thailand, the Jade Budha.

Here are some nice pictures

2006-02-15T12:42:00.000+08:00

These are all photos that were taken over my hoilday break and I do not really knwo what it is about these three photos but there is something about each one that just just looks snappy.
I have no bone of art at all in my body, but something about these photos seems so deep. I put them here for you to see and perhaps put your two cents in about them.

Pray for some good rest for me if you read this in the next 12 hours. Last night was the worst night I have had here ever, and I have no idea why.

goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooing

...

2006-02-14T11:28:00.000+08:00

Titles are always so hard to come up with. Now that the day has begun I am free to tell my feelings about having a great place in the city. How much more healthy is it to have a place that is away from where your place of work is located. There have to be some sort of studies on the suject. It is the same reason I believe why so many people get weary of living in Dorms at school after a certain number of years. Sure it is nice to have for the first 1 or 2 years when you are searching out all of the parties adn making your way to whatever floor the women are located. If you become serious abou tyour study after a while there is something of spite that rises up for the cell in which you abide. It begins to feel like the walls walk closer to you every minute, reaching into the pockets of your creativity and pick-pocketing idea after idea for paper and presentation until you come to a head and need release from the tangled twine of twixing drywall arms (I am not sure twixing is a word, and if it is I am sure it is wrongly used, but it sounds good).
I felt that way only after a few months in the digs here on the campus I teach. I did not realize it eaither until last night I had a refreshed sense of connectivity to others that have been out of touch.
For now I am off to purchase some lunch and hang out a little before the next duo of classes o'er take me.

Just...goinG

The Rhyming Three Sillies...

2006-02-13T12:43:00.000+08:00

It is only by the sheer Grace of God that I am here to write this this to you. Not because I have endured some long hardship at risk of losing life or limb, or that I have seen the light at the end of some death rattling sickness. I am on the crumbly edge of another semester of teaching and another semester of growing in what God has done in me, and what He will hopefully and prayerfully do through me.
Back from the holiday in a bittersweet attitude I was until this morning when I walked to the floors that my classes are on. In the midst of tackling new books and figuring out their new classes, and finishing all of the homework they had over their break, my students shot to the door in hopes of asking me about my trip, where I went, "do you have pictures?", "did you get a girlfriend?"
Yes I got great pictures and no, not yet for that other one.

Here is a call out to anyone from college that reads this and tha tis concerned about me turning into what a friend of mine called, "diaper wearing comatose bible beating vagabond," or something like that. I am fine, I am not in diapers yet, and have been getting along just fine in my adaptation to my new position in faith without as some people might think, a "negative" swing in my personality. I am swingin and kickin just like I did in college.

BUT...

Who in the world would I be and what kind of faith would I have and what kind of God do I worship that would let me come back from this place as the exact same man as when I left. I am being transformed daily, yes into a diaper wearing, scripture beating, spouting, breathing vagabond. What a blessing to be called this by my friend I now think, to be totally out of touch with this world in the depths of thought about the Word given to us in the beginning and until the end. Truly if it were as my friend said you would not be getting this retort to his comments.

Are you the same person you were in College/University or High School? (Apply where needed)

I truly hope not, I hope you have grown and seen how you have changed, looked at the path you have walked and seen the dips and rubble in the way, how you have overcome, I pray, and moved on down the line. Peace to all of you as I am off to sit in another section of school meetings on this first day back, lunch breaks always feel too short.

going, just...

A day in Dou-nan

2006-01-31T19:44:00.000+08:00

Woke up this morning to the sound of a guy yakking all over the street between our building and another. Is there any other way that anyone would rather wake up? We are in our new apartment and this was the second day that we have been in there sleeping.
The first night was ruff like most places that are new you have to get used to them, and that means on again-off again sleep and a weary day. Today I rose to the greatness of the Chinese New Year and the affects it has on the people of Taiwan. All night drinking, Mahjong playing and firecracker lighting takes its toll on people.
After getting up I hung out and did some random tasks and email writing. The best suprise that has come along with the apartment is the wireless internet signal. I am pretty sure that it is creeping over from the building across from us, it is nice. After all of that I made my way to Dou-nan to hang out for the day with one of my students and some of the other teachers from Concordia.
It was really nice to get out of the city and still be in the same countryside, to see a little more of country that I am living in. I spent the day eating, talking and playing hoops with my student and her family and some of the other residents of Dou-nan. The meal was fantastic and the conversation was even better. My students name is Sara, and her father works for the National Taiwan radio company. They make radio towers all over the nation. He will soon be traveling to a Western Africa, to a country I cannot pronounce or even remember now, to help this nation build some radio towers. Pretty cool to hear about Africa from someone going there for non mission oriented purposes.
Basketball was a great experience, being able to play with Sara, and see some of the other youth in the area and interact with them. Playing a very long game of basketball with them was just the right thing to do. Other than that, it was a trainride home and a hot shower.

Just going

The first day

2006-01-31T08:28:00.000+08:00

Since I am now in a new apartment, and am trying to start a few activities that I once did then dropped because it was so easy to do other things instead; I will be posting at least more regularly.
For now I will just tell you that the last few days have been busy, working to get into a new apartment, getting back from Macau and getting ready to leave to go to Thailand (Oh yeah really busy Sam let me tell you!) and getting all of my semester plans in order before going to Thailand, it has been pretty wearing.
Soon and very soon I am going to write about my day today, my trip and other stuff that has been going on to try and give you the day to day feel I once promised with this thing. I know it will take a little while to get you guys back reading but so-help-me it is going to get done.

Still going.

to think and to know

2005-12-31T10:59:00.000+08:00

I imagine it is a little off for me to now be updating. And for all of you who are faithful to coming here and checking I thank you. It was a crazy few weeks while on my sabatical from blogging. This is perhaps one of the greatest conversations I have had in my life, because it means something. It really means something, to both people involved, their hearts and minds although seperate in belief togehter in discussion.

to think and to know;

Can you draw the line between these two terms? The vague premise that both draw and what you would think is clear about one really is more af an attribute to the other. There are a great deal of men and women in this world that throw these terms around like they were easy enough to understand. Not taking into consideration the implications one puts on self and others when one or both of these terms are used in casual or serious discussion.

Why you may ask this line of philisophical thought? Why not? This is the spur of, like I said, maybe the most meaningful conversation in my life. A little background information, and please do not take what is being said lightly.

I bear this on the cuff of my heart, with all sincerity and love I write this...

Chapter One

Of course I had what all people who are up on stage in a grimmy bar stage with their guitar and a half chewed cigarette butt hanging out of the corner of a 26 year old, skeptical, depressed, selfish mouth want. A father and a mother who freely give their love and rebuke. Nothing about that is up for discussion or clarity.
What I did not have was Faith. None of it. Gone from my inside was that elusive tricky spectre that seemed to come and go from my life as easily as those pimples that are their and annoying for a short time, but after a few days are less irritating.

His faith never in question, never a doubt in mind.
The faith of those never in question either,
as we walked along down the path,
just to follow.
And where to go we not know,
Just follow the path my children and it will be set off.
What is it and what it is are ringing,
through the thoughts of a child tonight,
these questions, the world in which he has made his bed.
Where to go from here but not that way,
why?
for it is against the will of those in control,
that any heart will stray when,
the answers they are not given.

I walked away from what I once knew, leaving it in the past and setting out on a path not of my Father. If I was to walk as Paul I needed to see Saul, be and breathe as he once did. That was the time when I let Philosophy and lies creep into my mind and life and let them run past all that I once cherished.

Chapter Two coming...

Too Much of Too Much

2005-10-13T21:16:00.000+08:00

There seems to be fewer and fewer days in the week, hours in the day, minutes in the hour and so on. Well enough being left alone to do what I do, the Holy Spirit has moved me to write in this thing I promise to write in more faithfully and then renounce that agreement with myself and all you, if there are any of you left.
Much has been happening. Where to start where to start, how about...here:

This past weekend, since this is about as fresh in my mind as my clothes I washed two days ago and have been sitting on the floor in my room are, we went on a vacation to Kaoshung, pronounced, Gow-Shung, for Double 10 day. Double 10 day is interesting because no one that I talked to while on vacacation really could tell me why there was a holiday, what it was to celebrate, or any of the, what I would consider in my Western way of thinking, pertinant info. It was a great experience in the different mindsets of American and Taiwanese bretheren. I wanted to relax, the translation of relaxation is a little cloudy. WE went to as many fun places as we could to play and see the sights in about a 24 hour period, great fun and I am much wiser for going. Plus I got to chill out, watch baseball and smoke a Habana Cigar, while sipping a Cuba Libra, how many of you were doing that last weekend? Maybe more than I think...enough of this? You're right. Lets move one.

Homesickess, lets talk about it. What is it? The longing and nagging feeling you get in your stomach when you are thinking abou the items, people, and pleasures you left in one place to take on an adventure to another place. Well some things that have set off my homesickness, (1) College Football, the NFL, and MLB seasons openning and closing without any real sports bars around here. (2) No real places to hangout other than, here and church. That is about it right now, but I am glad I am finally sensing something other than the shock and awe of the humidity here in Taiwan! The food is great, the beer is good, but here is where I have to draw the line. When I go outside in the morning and this is the first thing running through my mind, "Ya know. I should've put deodorant on my balls." Gross, AHh; I am sorry for that, too late I cannot delete it. Moving on? Lets do it.

I think I will have to interenally diagnose myself now in a short section I am going to call, "Aliens abducted me and after their experiments on my left big toe; set me on a rock in the middle of the big blue and green and brown Earth with no regard for my delicate frame of mind." The End No of course this is not the end.
By my best guesstimation I am reverting back to a little more of a dominate take charge position within my personality and the realm it is encapsulated for this short stint. I am tryin to overachieve in certain aspects of life here in Taiwan that I consider to be important in an authoritarian sort of way. I am trying to make myself out to be a leader without actually leading in anything significant, I feel the deep well of pride I have been cursed and blessed with well up and over and I am trying rekindle the Drought of pride I thought I was living in, but what are we molded my the mountain or the valley? The time of ellation (sp) or anxiety and strife; which is the source of my spiritual wrinkles? I would say the valleys, for how tried is your faith in the time of ellation? I think what I am trying to say is I love Fruit, I love it...Stay with me.

The fruit here is amazing, just about anything I could want, that is considered tropical in the U.S. I can go down the street and buy from a lady who goes in her backyard and gathers a few baskets full and then comes to a street corner to sell it. Guava, Star Fruit, Dragon Fruit, Passion Fruit, etc. etc. etc. Increbile I tell you, and the fruit goes right along with the cake it is so many tims laid upon.

Time for the explanation of random pictures through this entry, they're random.

The Getting into the groove

2005-09-28T07:16:00.000+08:00

I think we are already going through our most stressful part of the year? This week is English week, and there is a ton of activity around the school, especially in the english office, and even more especially with the Foregin American Teachers. WHo knew we were such a comodity here that students would actually have a little bidding war about the best times to come and have one of us listen to their speech, story, or poem.
Other news on the horizon, or at least in my mind, another conclusion, which will hopefully lead to a little more action. I am starting to think about all of the great material that is slipping through my mind, and into or onto nothing. I would realy like to start a journal, perhaps outside of this, or maybe right on these pages. I am not sure about its contents yet, but I just feel like a bunch of the experience I have I am loosing because it is not getting placed down on any medium. I need to get a little notebook to jot all my quick little thoughts down, like some aspiring poet. Anywho, I am off to teach my newly created Wednesday Morning small group. Perhaps I will share more upon my return.

just going...

Breaking new ground

2005-09-24T09:04:00.000+08:00

So much for living up to the promise I made about getting on and updating this thing on a more regular basis. I guess the question would be, "what has been going on the last few days?" Well there are a few items of interest that I can talk about:
I have been making great headway with someof my classes and then I spent much time making sure others knew what is going on. If there is one thing that is harder than most to to follow in a classroom it is a teacher that has no semblence of discipline. I am having a hard time breaking through to some of these kids that I am not a push over like the last teacher apparently was. So the second to last class of the day yesterday I had to hard ball a kiddo because he was doing a half assed job, and then someother students came to his side saying the last teacher was not so mean, to which I responded, "I am not the last teacher!"
Then we found out that as a large group we were all being invited to go to Hong Kong in November to be a part of the LCMS Asian Ablaze kick off. Even though I am not too sure what Ablaze really means, and I mean the REAL meaning behind it, I think I will go to try and get a better idea. Ablaze seems like a noble cause, but what is the motivation? Christ or Numbers? Those that are reached are supposed to register their thoughts or response to the Ablaze feeling, or message? I do not know, but that is for a seperate entry, maybe after I get back.
Now I am sitting here trying to figure out what to do with my saturday morning. Maybe I will write a few lessons out or at least get and idea of what to write. Maybe I will play some video games until I am restless enough to move into a more comfortable position.
I have a new camera now also, so perhaps I will take a little bit to go around and get some pictures that everyone has been missing out on for a little bit of time.
Peace, Hope, and Safety to all of you, I am praying for the United States and that it does not devour itself from the inside out during these days. I hope Rita is kind to the gulf coast, my prayers are with all of you...

Just going

Prayers for Sunday

2005-09-18T08:40:00.000+08:00

Prayers of the Church

L: Faith.
Trust in God through Christ.
It is not 'believing where we cannot prove', but rather the conviction and confident trust in a God who has proved himself to be utterly reliable and faithful.

C: Oh God, you have given us Faith through your Son, you have shown your faithfulness to us; let us daily show our faith in You!

L: Love.
Without love it is possible to be orthodox, but not Christian. Love for all God's people includes the radicals, the fundamentalists, the liberals, the Protestants, the Catholics. Love for Christ, and love for others, cannot exist without each other. We love him as much, no more, as the one we love least.

C: Oh Lord, you have given us Hearts to Love, help us use them!

L: Thankfulness.
God deserves to be praised for his creation. If God has taken pains over His Creation, then as we see the Creation from God's perspective, our response must be to praise and thank him. But second, when we look at things God's way, no one is a hopeless case. We focus on possibilities rather than difficulties. We stop praying from the darkness of our own shadows. Unfortunately we are, to some extent, 'visually handicapped' and our perspectives of others are distorted. When we understand the value of the other to God, then we will be more thankful.

C: Oh God give your Church the eyes to see, and the tongues to Praise your Creation!

L: Hope, is the antithesis of despair.
Knowing God means knowing our destiny - so hope isn't something creating itself in a void. Hope is one of the three great realities along with faith and love that will last forever. It is the strong conviction that the God who was with his people in the past will be with them now and forever.

C: Oh Lord, our Hope is in the Name of You! Our Hope will last forever!

L: Gracious Father, as we come together we pray for the whole nation of believers, specifically we want to pray for;
Family, both believers and non-believers, that our experience here would be a reassurance for the kingdom of believers; for the non-believers who would see our faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus and be open to the Holy Spirits leading.

(for)Faith, Hope, Love, and Thankfulness, that all of these gifts may be renewed and pour out of your believers as we walk daily.

(for)The collection of prayers on the Hearts and Minds of those present and not. Oh God you know what is on our hearts, let us offer everything to You without hesitance.

All: Trust in the LORD with all your heartand lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3, 5-6

Amen.

These are the prayers we have for our missionary service for todays missionary service. Please pray them with us.

just going...

Where are we going?

2005-09-17T09:02:00.000+08:00

This is a Prayer that my Uncle Forwarded to me...

Thought you might enjoy this prayer given in Kansas at the opening session of their Senate. It seems prayer still upsets some people. When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard:

"Heavenly Father,

we come before you today to ask your forgiveness

and to seek your direction and guidance.

We know Your Word says,

Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done.

We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.

We confess that we have ridiculed the absolute truth of Your Word and call it Pluralism.

We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.

We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.

We have killed our unborn and called it choice.

We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.

We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem.

We have abused power and called it politics.

We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.

We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment. Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Amen!"

The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked out during the prayer in protest. In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls responding negatively. The church is now receiving international requests for copies of this prayer from India, Africa and Korea. Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio program, "The Rest of the Story," and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired. With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and whole heartedly become our desire so that we again can be called "One Nation Under God." If possible, please pass this prayer on to your friends. "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything."

For some reason...

2005-09-16T13:15:00.000+08:00

Have I said that I was going to try and be a little more faithful in updating this thing???
Well I am going to try dang it! The fact of the matter is that there has been a great number of break throughs in my teaching and in the students I am teaching, and I have been spending more time with my students than doing much of anything else.
Let me tell you that for the last week and a few days I have been setting up several meeting times and after school opportunities for me and my students to interact. Carrying over some ideas from America, and melding some ideas I have heard being thrown around by teachers here.
What is the greatest part of teaching? Or what is the greatest lesson you can teach as a teacher? For me in the setting that I am in and the culture I have been thrust into, the greatest lesson that I can teach is that I am strict and stern, but that I care more about the students than their behavior in class. The message and lesson that I try to teach is that I am there to be a conduit for God. I always try to relate a message of God and His love through my actions in the classroom.
Now this certainly takes a different meaning to people with different ideas about what or who God is. But there is one thing that I think we can agree on, is that any man or woman believer can be a testament to how great our God is.

This is my mission here.
The Lion and the Lamb are together combined in my spirit come forth into a blessing of the Ghost given to me in my baptism. May my soul rejoice to you in these words; The splendor of the King that is clothed in majesty and is waiting to be revealed to the people of this world, and I am here because I am a chosen member of the flock. Is this work reserved specifically for me? I believe so. How Great is Our God? All will see how great in just a short time, for what is the age of men when compared to the infinite God? My heart will sing this song to God, How Great Thou Art, Name above all Names, you have blessed me with the ability, you have blessed me with the passion, now if it is Your will Father, Bless our Kingdom With a harvest. A harvest so numerous that the store houses in Heaven overflow ontop of themselves.
Great is your faithfulness Oh God! As you wrestle with my heart on a daily basis I can do nothing but dissappoint. My flesh is my thorn, but on that day you will removed my flesh to reveal the spirit your Son has given to all men and women. Lord I will ask you to increase my spirit until my flesh has worn away, Remember your people, remember you children, remember your promise Oh God! Your Grace is Enough Oh God! For me and all people, if our lives are forfeit and we have your grace do we still not have all?

What is the point of this entry? An overflowing spirit of Joy and Peace, Hope and Love. have you not seen this before from me? Expect more, God is too good for this not to happen.

Just Going!

This is how I feel on Friday after teaching...

Chapter the...Rules you hope you never use.

2005-09-07T22:26:00.000+08:00

There are rules that your parents had, when you were younger, that they hoped they did not have to use. I guarantee it. There are rules that I put into motion as I entered the classroom that I hoped I would never have to use. Was the matter so large as to merit an entire entry? Perhaps not in the eyes of some, but in my guesstimation, yes I think so. The feelings I have now are mixed between several lines of thought, mostly boardering on the validity of the punishment I proclaimed on the wrongdoer.
I am in the middle of a struggle with myself on whether the punishment was harsh enough? Or too Harsh? After all the perpitrator took the rule into account, then disregarded what I had set in place, and took the offense even beyond what I had even established. By the measure of the rule what she had done deserved a much harder punishment, infact the ultimate punishment was certainly warranted, but when there are tears in the eyes of the one who has done the wrong, and you know that this person is understanding and sorry for their action, do you continue down the path of Righteous Judgement and Punishment, or do you for-fo what is called for by the law and lay an even greater precedent? You know the weight of your guilt and now you are free of it, but not free of the punishment. Was my action the most Christ like? I ask this question not to probe for answers but for myself, to probe my heart.
This seems a whole huge mess, that might prompt an email, or a phone call, or a comment even, but whatever your response know that this issue is past, and I will not dig it up again, the hour has past, and I look forward to the next second of new thoughts and prayers

just going

I am Concordia Middle School teacher Sam Beltz: and this is the Longest day of My life...

2005-09-06T17:36:00.000+08:00

Sweet Nectar of the gods, I call you internet...
Perhaps that is a little overboard, but we finally have what is really the cheapest and easiest way to contact people from America and Beyond. So what has been going on while we have been out of touch? Well there was a Typhoon that rolled through and took out some of the trees on campus and did a little damage to some out lying buildings. There was a little more damage farther north in Tai Pei, and as you move south on a map there is less and less damage.
We were supposed to start up classes last Friday, and have meetings for the English Department all day on Thursday, but class was conceled National due to the Typhoon so everything was pushed back a day which was nice because we started school this past Monday, which is much nicer than a Friday.
I have been in the classroom two days now and it has been great. I am loving how interested the students are in learning English. It has been great for me and my confidence to see how they are reacting to what I am teaching. As for now I am unwinding from the day adn have not even collected the thoughts from yesterday. I am going to make Guacamole, here are some pictures.
Well I guess it is time to show all of those faithful readers and viewers where I am staying for this year. Simple and Elegant I know, and I love the way the rug ties the room together. Notice the upper left corner, one of my little cultural additions to Taiwan, a set of UT Longhorn Foam hands.

just going...

Chapter the Twenty Fourth: Typhoon Central

2005-09-01T09:42:00.000+08:00

As New Orleans is dealing with the aftermath of what looked to be a biblical style flood, as well as half of the south, I sit in our den in Taiwan dealing with what is the worst typhoon of the season, there is rain like crazy and a bunch of branches on the ground, some down trees and a little water damage in our place of residence.
I was told by my Dad that I should change the country I am in on my profile to Taiwan, so that no one thinks I am in Africa other than Taiwan. Thanks for the concern Dad, love you...

These are some pictures that I got to take when we had our little outing to Tai Chung this last Monday. The grafitti on the power box is something that I came accross when we were walking down a main street looking for some food to eat. I thought is was pretty funny because some of the group told me it was a strange likeness...

The photo to the right is of a very large department store/mall building which there are several of in Tai Chung. The photo in my last post also was of a large mall building. These buildings are 12 stories plus in most cases, with 3 sub levels of store and then 5 more levels of parking underneath, quite impressive. Taiwan I must say is years ahead of the U.S. as far a mass transit. I cannot wait until there is a train that can make it accross the U.S. from New York to Seattle, or Houston to L.A in 5 hours or so. Travelling would be so much more fun, and you could see the country side, without driving for 30 hours. It would be great...
Just a thought George.

Just Going

Chapter the Twenty-Third

2005-08-30T11:35:00.000+08:00

The greatest thing that has happened to me up to date in my life...I believe that would be a thesis for a dissertation or something. THe question was asked by someone, who I believe to be my Dad, and then the sentiment returned by another friend. So I will at length unveil the greatest happening in my life up to date.
It started last year at about 7 p.m. on the 16th of September 2004. Most of you know if from talking to me about my year in Florida. The greatest thing to happen to me was not Hurricane Ivan but the several changes of attitude and philosophy toward religion and life that happened in me during the course of the hurricane as well as after it had passed. Zee First Epiphany I guess you could call it occured even before the hurricane really started to blow. Pastor Linck and I were out and about the Wednesday that the hurricane came onto land. There were a few people in the congregatoin that had not had the opportunity to board up some of the windows on their homes. This truly was foreign to me for a time, putting others ahead of self, especially in the area of self preservation. My attitude toward helping others, prior to this time, was similar to the attitude you are supposed to have when administering the oxygen masks on a plane, or at least how you are instructed to. First put your mask on and then help those around you. When I would think about this operating system and how it applied to my service in the church and came to the conclusion at this moment in time, that if I wanted to continue service in the church this philosophy would have to change, and so it did. How can I serve people if there needs are secondary on my list, how can I be a servant if I cannot first deny myself?
Following closely on the heals of this ground breaker was another wonderful but not totally foreign conclusion. I would have to accept my own mortality, IN FULL, to also be able to serve better. I have thought greatly and at long length about life and death and the impact of both on the physical and mental well being of myself. It comes to reason that when any person is deeply in thought about death and in converse life they are going to swing in mental and physical health toward the topic of thought. WHen one is deeply in thought about death, and the ways to die, and what happens in death, you become depressed, and in converse relation when the topic of thought is life, you seem to have a surge of enegry and happiness.
As I sat listening to what could have been death surround me. I had to fully let go of what I thought was a certain life, and accept the reality of certain death. There is one certainty that all of humanity can accept, Death. All humanity will legitimatly accept the fact that they will die, and when asked the same question about life, "Will you live?" there might be a puzzled look, and a hesitant "yyeeessss?" This was certainly me prior to sitting through what could have been death. For certain now I will say and do say, I will live, for the only certainy that matters to me now, Love.

As for the rest it will wait...

Just going...

this is just an insert...

2005-08-29T00:23:00.000+08:00

As I sit around with my fellow nerds in our, as a friend put so delicatly, "Nerdular Nerdulance" I cannot help smile adn think we have found a common thread that will bind us to late nights around an Apple Internet Streamer.

Just going...

Straight to Bed.

Chapter the Twenty-Second: By Popular Demand...

2005-08-28T08:49:00.000+08:00

The first greatest thing that has happened in my short life is something that cannot, for the greatest part, be explained in the short amount of time that I have between now and the time that we are going to be on our way to church. SO all I will say for right now is that the greatest story of my life is going to be coming up in a post very soon to a computers screen in front of you.
As for the greatest part of yesterday, we went to a resort/retreat center in the third largest city in Taiwan. It was great fun, we all got to walk around a bit and then for the longest part of time sit around by a beautiful pool and absorb some of the higher mountian air. It gave me a good long time to think over the reason for the tone of the last post. I have been going through some self monitoring, which I really did trash for a few days. I was wreckless in my speech and attitude toward some situations and some off comments were made by persons, that we not meant to hurt or cut by any means, but did. I had to take a step back and realize that all that I had worked hard for, and the steps I had taken in growth were seriously hindered and set back by just a few days of action. Very dissappointing to say the least. but now, at least I think, after a good long day of thought and contemplation I have regained a grasp on what I seemingly lost, or more to the point forgot about, and will in the upcoming weeks try to re-establish a little bit of what I believe I really am.
School starts, officially in another week, but on Friday we have a half day to go in and scare the crap out of our students so they behave at least for the first day of next week. I am in the process of reorganizing the Bible Curriculum for the entire 10-12th grade classes that I am going to teach...And as I write this I hear the call for the leaving bus to church. I will get a little more in when I come back, wait I can save this as a draft, but it might be a little long...

Chapter the Twenty-First

2005-08-26T18:18:00.000+08:00

As I sit here after the first week of being in the office is complete I feel like I need a beer, and to this you are supposed to answer in true Lutheran Fashion, "This is most certainly true!" I cannot imagine what this year is going to hold but I can imagine what it will not hold, that topic is of course for an entry a little further down the line. For as long as I have been here though there have been some things that have happened that I was thinking would never. Nothing major just small little feelings that I do not want to let out that already have. Small little bits of myself that I was hoping would not pop their heads out of my personality but already have. I am having to watch myself from inside and out to make sure that my time here is spent in the best of ways, for if I let myself this could certainly be a painful year, and if I help myself this will be the best year of life, or at least close.
God help me to be intollerable of self and all of you. This is the only way that I can be free of wanting to be free of my thoughts and illusions. God you are good, lay down a smooth path for your servant and a hard road for the being that hinders him. God you are fair, lay waste the houses of lawlessness and build up the lawful. Lord I know that if I suffered your judgement I would walk the hard path and lay in waste, but Oh God you have sent a light to me, and to that light I fly. Praise be to You and Your Holy City to which the chosen enter.

Chapter the Twentieth: It Begins

2005-08-25T08:16:00.000+08:00

The last few days we, the foreign teaching crew at Concordia Middle School, have been going to our offices, getting oriented and started working on what needs to be done before the start of classes in roughly a week. Every day that I am in there and sitting in the classes I get a little more excited about what is going to start to happen in my life. I am a very relational person, I love to meet people and get to know them and have a personal connection to them in any way possible, some of you that read this might scratch your heads and say, "Really"? But it is the truth...
The last two days I have been going to where the students I will be teaching hang out and take their summer classes if they are enrolled in them and just getting to know how they work, where they are, and what they need to improve uppon as their exams come closer. It is going to be a difficult year from the aspect that the Taiwanese School Calendar has not breaks for students or teachers but one and it is much longer in length that the traditional American Calendar. I will be in class from Sep 1 until June 30, with about a 2 week break in January, and then sacraficing two Saturdays a month to teach. I cannot complain, and will not complain, because this is not American and I am no longer an American. It is a hard concept to grasp for those of you sitting in your dorm room, or computer room in Texas, Colorado or any other state in the Union, and if you are sitting in another country beside Taiwan, and you have been there for any length of time no matter how long or short, you understand. This is going to be the second greatest thing that has happened in my life to this point, it has been a short time, but there is something about this place, and the believers here that captures my heart and mind.

In a few days I will be able to thave pictures for you of my students. This picture is of the campus we are on and one of the courtyards that lies within the grounds.

Chapter the Nineteenth: THe Joys of Cooking

2005-08-22T13:11:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a great day and the best part was that it was prefaced by and almost better day. You heard some about it in the last entry "Crash and Burn" which tells about one very unfortunate incident which took place. I am going to tell this little bit about something else I saw during our excursion. There is a large Taoist Temple a ways away from the school in downtown Chia Yi. It is a very large place with seven stories and several sacramental altars on each. As well as a very large cauldron I guess in which Taoist devotees burn large quantities of "Spirit Money." WE got to walk through the temple and to all seven levels which we found out were symbolic of the seven levels of Hell and each devotee goes to each level to pray to their ancestors and ancestrial protectors to keep them from suffering a fate in one of these hells. One of the most interesting happenings going on in the temple this day was a sort of coming of age ceremony for one girl. I had a chance to sit and watch the process and the picture you will see is of the girls father praying to a diety which looks like buddha but we were told is not.
On a different note...There are few things that I enjoy more than cooking, seriously, I do...Last night was the first night that we had to fend for ourselves in regads to food. I was not too scared about what to do, the first thing that came to my head was, "Hey I will just pick up some items at the local Store and be good to go." So as we were driving around after church we had the opportunity to stop at a store and I ran inside and grabbed some Pork, Snow Peas, Golden Mushrooms and had it in mind to make some stir fry. The first of the Non-American home cooked meals brought to you by Sam Corp, falling off bikes and cooking great meals since 2005.

Chapter the Eighteenth: Crash and Burn

2005-08-21T07:20:00.000+08:00

There is that obvious fact that at one point or another at this time or that, there is going to be that one circumstance that leaves you flat on your face and wishing you were at home. For whatever reason you failed to comprehend some matter or disregarded some sign that told you to stop and like a stupid human you did not. The cost, a little bit of pride, perhaps a little bit of dignity, and oh yes your skin.
Such an occasion is in the fore-front today and here is a first hand look. Yesterday morn we, the 9 new English teachers of Concordia Middle School were out and about on our very first bike ride and tour of the city. It was absolutly great to see the city by bike and be able to stop anywhere, go inside little shops, points of interest such as a very large Taoist Temple. During the day I noticed that the pedal on my bike as becoming inreasingly wobbly almost to the point of my foot falling off at certain times during pedaling. So I made a mental note and kept right on going, trying to figure out the most effective way to get around the problem, instead of taking the time to fix it, and just keep going along with the flow of the tour. Well a little more time passed and we were on our way back to the school and I somehow forgot this very important piece of information, ignoring the signs, and stood up on the pedal to give myself a little extra push, and the pedal snapped off. What happened next I can only be told, because I remember not much of the flight, but it was said to be perhaps the greatest human airobatics maneuver since that kid jumped onto the net in Yankee Stadium. Over the handle bars I went, sliding and scraping my way to a stop. The casualties, my pride and my skin mostly. What is the point of this grand ole story well let me just tell you, if you have a bike and something is wrong, get off and fix it, and if you cannot fix it, find someone that can. THis is the reason why I think common sense is not too common.

Just Going...

Chapter the? What are we on Now???

2005-08-19T05:56:00.000+08:00

I think the most annoying thing that I have found about this place now is the fact that there is the possibility for me to hit my head on just about every door jam in the country I imagine. How will this affect my stay here, I will most certainly have a little more of an arch in my back when I return from always hunching over to get through any door I need to. Other than that the climate is much like a Houston or Southern Florida, pretty much any southern town that is right near the coast, New Orleans would probably be pretty accurate.
Apparently we have been blessed our first day here in Taiwan. How you might ask. We had a blue sky and a great view of the mountains which launch out of the scenery about 60 miles outside of the town we are in. It is absolutly amazing to hear that during the year there are not too many times that you can get a view of one or the other and let alone the two at once. THe main reason is the mix of such high humidity and the close proximity of the Mountains to the coast line and the weather patterns that produces, lots f clouds and drizzly rain a lot of the time. The other is the moderatly high pollution, it is certainly much more than the U.S. because of their lack of certain agencies to govern the way pollutants are emitted into nature, amd their highly expanding population, industry, and non regulated suburban development. Pretty much anyone can build anything wherever they want with little to no regulatory supervision from the governing body of the county they are in or the whole of the country.
What is on the table for today? We are heading to the local Christian Hospital, which is one of the closest and also one of the largest in the area we are in. We have to go and get health checks for the school and also so that we can get national I.D.'s. Then we are going to recieve our Taiwanese names and practice those a little bit. Then finally go to a large Deparment Store that we are told is the equivalent to a Super Walmart, so I should be right at home.
I hope all of yall have a great afternoon and evening in America as I start my day in Taiwan...

Just going...

Chapter the Sixteenth: The same sunrise...

2005-08-18T05:43:00.000+08:00

My first morning in Taiwan and I get to see the sun come up through my window here in the school. How amazing! Seeing as how there has been little that has gone on for us since we got here other than trying to stay up as late as we could yesterday to try and aid in our adaptation to the time zone. I finally fell asleep around 8 p.m. and woke up a few times because my body was telling me, "lets start the day!" I am up now and it is a little after 5 a.m., what to do today? I think I am going to go for a little bit of a walk around this morning and look at the rest of the campus and then head out onto the street to find a place to eat some breakfast or a store to buy something to cook. The "Practice Hotel" that we are all living in reminds me of the dorm that I stayed in while at Concordia for University. It is going to be so great for the year, the only thing that I am worried about I think is how we will all interact in the long days that we will all share, will the close proximity help or hinder our relationships to each other when we are exhausted, I guess that could be by what I observed last night before we all went to bed. After all we had been through yesterday and last night, there was a small collective of practice hotel residence that had an impromptu discussion about the finer points of the Russian and Greek Orthodox Church. For as interesting as the conversation was for the short time I listened I did not think that I could have added significant to the discussion so I went to bed.
If all the times that we are extremely tired and worn out and around each other end up this way not only will we e fine, but we will also have spawned some of the greatest theological teaching minds this century has ever scene, walther woud be proud, (wink).
As for now I am going to get into the bathroom and take care of some teeth brushing, then a little bit of bible studying, and then a walk about. Peace to you my friends and family...

Just going...

Chapter the Fifteenth: The Journey Begins...

2005-08-17T14:16:00.000+08:00

I am here and in my room. And in the beginning it seemed a little bit overwhelming and most likely will continue to get that way until I realize I am not the one in the driving seat yet again. I am here adn Praise be to God all my fellow workers are as well. Be expecting a little more in depth entry when I have had some sleep and a shower, right now I cannot remember when I shut my eyes last, I know it was not my last night at home. Peace to all of you and my prayers are with you.

Just Going...